The Zulian Affair
by Rahne4227
Summary: While buying a ship to take a break from being a professor, Washu meets a freighter captain- a very beautiful woman. Maybe it would be okay to be a grown-up again for a bit. Washu/OC, Femmeslash. Chapters 1-2 rated G, Chapters 3-7 rated R for sexuality.
1. First Contact

The Zulian Affair

First Contact

"I'm here to buy a ship."

The man behind the neatly pretentious desk looked up from his computer console, slightly confused by the timbre of the voice that just spoke to him. He hadn't even realized someone was in the room with him until her heard the child speak. He tucked his stylus behind one of his long pointed ears and looked vaguely irritated. "Little girl, are you lost?" The man took in the pink-haired girl who looked to be eleven or twelve years old. The Science Academy insignia must belong to one of her parents, he reasoned.

Washu rolled her eyes. "I told you, I'm here to buy a ship. Point me to someone who can show me what you have and I'll get out of your way." She was using her professor's tone out of habit, and also because she hated this crap. This was the sort of thing that kept her on campus most of the time. Everyone there already knew that the pink-haired little girl was not to be trifled with. Professor Washu's classes were both feared and sought after, and pity the freshman who didn't catch on fast enough that this 'child' was the finest mind the galaxy had yet produced. Not to mention the fact that she was significantly older than she appeared.

He raised an eyebrow. "We don't give tours here. Whatever school trip you're on will probably be missing you, hadn't you better get back to your teacher? I don't want you to get in trouble."

Washu's mouth twitched. "I don't appreciate the condescension, Mister-" she eyed his nameplate, "-Berteous. I assure you I am of age, and I have several thousand years worth of savings in my hip pocket. If your superiors would like to make an easy sale, I recommend pointing me in their direction."

Berteous huffed a bit. Just what he needed, a precocious brat with her family's credit card. "So what, you're running away from home? Planning on spending your inheritance before you even get out of grade school? Come back when you're tall enough to reach the console on a runabout; we can help you then." Deliberately he turned his attention back to the paperwork on his console, hoping she'd take the hint and get lost.

The little scientist clenched her fists at her sides. What she ought to have done was whipped out her ID and shoved it at him. Unfortunately that rarely worked either; her date of birth was some ten thousand years back- give or take a few centuries. Most people who didn't know who she was from the Science Academy thought it was a laughable fake. There was a way around this bullshit, but she certainly wasn't going to go through it for a desk clerk. She turned on her heel and left the office as silently as she had arrived, her soft shoes making no sound on the marble floor.

But she didn't go back to the campus. If she wanted she could browse the ship selection via the nets but that wasn't good enough; if she wanted to live on the thing for a handful of years she had to get a feel for it. Her equipment also had to be considered, and catalog dimensions didn't give nearly enough information. So she ventured through the doors into the shipyard itself.

The place was an enormous open-air field, and it only held the craft that were capable of both atmosphere and space travel. Nearest the building were the planetary cruisers, ships meant for wealthy families to make trips to moons and the like. Pleasure craft, in other words. Nearly two miles farther out were the vessels she was more interested in; atmosphere-rated but also with drives capable of carrying passengers and cargo through the vast emptiness between stars. It was far to walk, so she cheated. It was considered rude to teleport on campus, but here she could shave a good deal off her walking time.

A few judicious hops later and she was in the right area. Out here the ships ranged in size from Pretty Big, the size of an office building, to Seriously Huge, the largest that was capable of landing on a planet. There was only one of those here and it was roughly the size of a skyscraper and the city block it would stand on. There was also far less frippery in evidence; at this range the ships were freight haulers and the like. That was the sort of thing she was after, only maybe a couple steps down. She could refit just about anything mid-sized so that no crew would be necessary.

As the little scientist tried to get a feel for which ship would suit her purposes, she heard voices approaching. The incident with the desk clerk had already been pushed aside as Washu focused on the task at hand so they didn't really distract her until they got much closer.

A deep male voice was talking in a crisp, professional tone. "So you see Captain Zulian, our dry-dock services are second to none. We will be able to refit your, uh, lovely ship to like-new in no time."

The woman who responded sounded just a little tired of dealing with sales. "It doesn't have to be lovely, it just has to fly with a full load. Preferably faster than the pirates. If you can manage that upgrade we were talking about, I'll pay what you ask. I am just a little concerned about the suspensors I see in use here. I've been hearing about failures from that model. If your dock drops my ship it'll crack like an egg and I will not be pleased." The speakers weren't in view, having paused to examine the suspensor holding up the massive cruiser Washu was standing in front of.

Out of habit, Washu looked at the suspensor herself. It was a large metal coil mounted horizontally and vibrating slightly as it generated a field of null-gravity. This was the model that had been in the news lately for recall and refit, but Washu could see the compensators had already been installed.

The salesman was being reassuring. "We take the utmost care with all ships in our hands, you needn't worry yourself on that score." Washu thought he could have skipped the condescending tone; what was it with the people at this shipyard? It was the best, which was why the scientist had chosen it, but that didn't mean the attitudes were justified.

Washu silently cheered when the captain refused to take it. "You'll understand if I don't take your word for it. Insurance is nice and all, but I'd rather have my ship. I think I'll be back when I've got something more than words." There was the sound of the woman striding away, or rather towards Washu. The little scientist turned to see who this Captain Zulian was.

The woman who strode around the corner was tall with coal-black hair to her shoulders. The confident walk was almost a strut; a captain's walk for certain. It made the long skirt she wore flow nicely. The ship's jacket she wore was well-tailored as well. There was nothing about the woman that didn't say that she was willful, and successful largely because of that forcefulness.

Captain Zulian noticed Washu but didn't show surprise at the sight of a child in this place, merely nodded politely as she approached. The salesman was not far behind, desperate not to lose the business. He was tall as well, broadly built with a shock of dark blue hair that was calculatedly tousled in the style that was currently the rage for young men.

"Captain, I can get proof for you that our facilities are entirely safe if you'll just allow me-" He ran forward at the sight of Washu standing alone and contemplating ships. "You! Girl! You are not allowed to be here alone, where are your parents?"

"Oh, for… Young man, if your desk clerk had half a brain, I'd be here with one of you lot, buying one of your ships!" Washu was quite losing her patience with this persistent attitude. Small humanoids weren't so uncommon in the galaxy, why was she always getting these hassles? Part of the trouble was that her proportions truly *were* that of a pre-adolescent human. "You don't know Science Academy insignia when you see it either? We do sort of support just about everything on this continent, you know."

Captain Zulian had stopped and was watching the confrontation with interest. Her eyes flicked to the insignia Washu mentioned and an elegant black eyebrow rose slightly but she didn't say anything yet.

The salesman didn't have such reservations. "Stealing a Dean's insignia doesn't give you the right to wander about here unescorted. I'll be staying with you until security arrives to escort you back to the Academy- if that's really where you're from." He turned away from Washu to speak to Zulian again. "Captain, I do apologize for this interruption in our negotiations. I'll take care of this little problem and we can continue."

The captain smiled at the salesman. "I am not the one you need to apologize to. You just accused this woman of being a thief and an imposter. I think that counts as poor customer service to say the very least." She gave Washu a look of amusement, but the scientist could tell the amusement wasn't aimed at her.

Well at least this Zulian person seemed to have good sense. The same could not be said of the salesman. "A child would not be the Dean of Micro-Engineering at the Academy. That office is currently held by Washu Hakubi, and she has been in that post for the last century at least."

"A hundred and fifty years actually, although I'm thinking of changing to Astrophysics when old Carpov retires. I'll have to dust off some skills, but I'll be able to whip that department back into shape in no time." Washu peered at the young man. "Where the hell do you get this information and you *still* don't recognize me?"

He glared at the child. "My father is doing graduate work at the Academy, as if it's any business of yours. But I'm ending this!" He turned away again, pressing a button on the small comm device at his hip. "I need two guards at Pylon 759 to escort an intruder off the property!"

Washu had had exactly enough. Perhaps it was stupid to do this in a fit of pique considering the reasons for the original change, but if it was what it took to finish her business today she'd do it, and she was damned if she was going to be manhandled by security guards. Between one heartbeat and another while the man was turned away, the child Washu was replaced by the full grown Washu. Her uniform had shifted with her and now hugged an extremely well-formed body that could only be described as perfect. Her mysterious genetic heritage, whatever that happened to be, had been very kind. Even so, she had full control over her substance and wouldn't have gone for anything less anyway.

When the salesman finished calling in security he turned back to be confronted not by a petulant child but by a furious woman who was at least an inch taller than he was, not counting her rather spectacular pink spiky hair. This beautiful woman was glaring at him, hand on hip and tapping her foot impatiently.

Captain Zulian chuckled at the dumbfounded expression on the man's face. "Hadn't you better cancel that call?" Her eyes, vivid blue, appraised the altered Washu with admiration. "Or let them come and they can pick up what's left of you."

Washu flashed a smile at the other woman before turning back to the salesman. "*Now* am I worth doing business with? Does this satisfy whatever bullshit criteria you have for selling me a damn ship?" Her voice was now a half-octave lower and she spoke as if she expected to be listened to. This was also true when she was in her child form, but some people took time to be able to hear it. Those people usually flunked if they didn't catch on before mid-term.

He stammered a pale attempt at an apology, but Washu cut him off. "Now that I look closer at you, I can tell. You must be Mr. Beemis's boy Woden, aren't you. You have the same hair and eyes. He's a good man, and he's been a great help at keeping the undergrads from damaging my equipment. I think I'll have to schedule him a little more time off, though. If he doesn't have time to tell stories about his students and professors than he's probably overworked."

Captain Zulian stepped closer, an amused twinkle in her eye. "I do hate to interrupt this dressing-down, but one so rarely gets to meet a legend. I suspected that you were more than you seemed, but I didn't expect that you were truly *the* Washu Hakubi. You designed the station I operate out of half the year." She held out a strong hand.

Washu smiled, genuinely pleased. "Ah, you run out of Central Zed-4? Or Prime Ceti? Not that I take full credit for Prime Ceti, it's just my favorite." The captain's hand was strong, and had seen hard work, but the skin was smooth and warm to the touch.

"Central is my half-home, but I've been to Prime, and I think I know why you favor it. It manages to be elegant at the same time as entirely practical." Zulian didn't relinquish the scientist's hand immediately, holding it in both of hers just a moment longer than a greeting gesture tended to require. When she did let go, she met Washu's gaze with a speculative look that the scientist couldn't quite figure out.

"I thought that myself about the place. The shell was designed by a friend of mine but we both worked on the interior and it came out better than we'd hoped." That look caused Washu some confusion but she let it pass without comment. "And they didn't give me free rein with Central or it would have been nicer."

The salesman was in hurried conversation with someone on his radio and he kept shooting terrified looks at Washu, which she ignored with an air of dismissal.

"Listen, I don't know if this particular yard has anything you've got your heart set on, but I can recommend some others that don't suffer from this place's ideas about itself that could set you up with whatever style vessel you're in the market for." Zulian's lips pursed with distaste. "I'm here because they *claim* to be the fastest and if I don't have a full hold in the sky in the next week or two my crew is going to get very cross with me."

Washu chuckled. "Well I heard your concern about their suspensors, and they have- at least on this level- done the required refit. I can show you on this one if you like," and she waved a hand at the machine humming about ten feet in front of them.

"I'd be delighted to see it," Zulian said. "Not that I doubt your word, but I'm suddenly dying to have you show me." She stepped closer to Washu, taking her arm as they walked over to the device, leaving the now completely flummoxed Woden behind.

Having the other woman take her arm like that threw Washu slightly but she wrote it off to how long it had been since her adult form had been necessary. Being child-shaped and treated with the respect due an adult was one thing, being treated as an adult while *being* one was something else again.

"See here, the coil has the vibration damper fixed firmly to the bottom." Washu's eye caught on something and she grinned. "This one was even assembled by my students and tested by yours truly. See the crab mark?" She pointed to the stylized crab etched into the casing. "I'm sure they're not all ours, there was a high demand for these and I thought it would be a good learning experience for my seniors on mass production and quality control to crank out a couple hundred thousand."

Woden was making a strangling noise and Zulian smirked. "Well that does put my mind at rest somewhat. Now that I know what to look for I can go to any shipyard and tell if they've done the right thing or not. May I show you some other yards, Miss Hakubi?" Zulian took possession of Washu's arm again.

A bit bemused, Washu smiled. "I think I'd like that, since they're refusing to take my credits here." She allowed Zulian to turn her towards the long walk back.

They only got a few steps before Woden threw himself in front of them. "Ladies, please don't go! It was a misunderstanding, a terrible mistake on my part and I humbly apologize for it!" The panicked young man bowed so low he almost tipped over forwards. "I'm young, a-and inexperienced, and a fool! I beg your pardons a thousand times!" He assumed a prayer position. "And don't flunk my dad for it, he'll kill me!"

Zulian spoke before Washu could. "Boy, you just don't know when to stop, do you? First it's accusations of various sorts of thievery, now you accuse her petty vindictiveness? Great Space, call it a day already."

Washu was vaguely aware that her arm was still in the captain's warm grip, but she fixed the begging boy with a withering look. "As she says, I'm hardly that sort. I'm a teacher above all, and people learn by dealing with the consequences of their own mistakes. He will *hear* about it, I'm sure, but not necessarily from me."

A calculating sort of look crossed Zulian's face and she nudged Washu gently. "Perhaps you should still shop here. After all, they do have the largest selection, and I do believe that a herd of managers are approaching, just to make things interesting."

Washu looked farther down the walkway and it was true; several hellishly well-dressed people were walking at a dignified pace towards them. Woden spun around to see and nearly swooned from panic. The scientist nudged Zulian back and feigned indecision. "Well, I suppose I could. I'll tell you what Mr. Woden; if you give Captain Zulian the deepest discount you're authorized to give, I'll stay and smooth things over with the muckety-mucks here. The captain gets her refit, I get to buy my ship, and you keep your job and get the commission for the sale." She grinned at him. "Sound fair?"

Comical tears of relief were streaming from the boy's eyes. "Really? You mean it? Yes, absolutely! Half-off the refit and I'll handle all the docking paperwork personally, Captain, I swear!"

Zulian cocked her head at Washu. "Why thank you, Miss Hakubi. Just for that I'd like to buy you dinner while I'm in town. I-" A small bleeping noise went off inside her jacket. The captain frowned, annoyed. "I've only got about an hour before I have to be back." With apparent reluctance she let go of Washu and offered her hand. "May I look you up before I leave this lovely little dirtball of yours?"

"Of course. My public contact information is in the Academy directory." For some reason she thought she ought to offer her private line, but she didn't want to delay the captain further. They shook hands again, and again Zulian held just a touch longer. "I'll look for a message from you, then I can respond with my direct line." There, that way she could do both.

A mysterious sort of smile lifted the corners of Zulian's lips and that speculative look was back in her bright blue eyes. "I shall send at the earliest opportunity. Until we meet again, Miss Hakubi." Then she turned to Woden. "Let's get cracking on that paperwork, hmm?" She practically led him away, and as they retreated down the walkway the captain took the boy's arm, perhaps not as close as she'd held Washu.

"What an odd thing to notice," Washu mused at herself. Then she sighed and prepared herself to deal with the sort of falling all over themselves that these managers were about to do to have such an influential personage on the property. It was a bore but if it got her a ship she could live with it. And she didn't really want Woden's career to suffer for youthful ignorance and bad manners. The scolding he'd get from his father would more than get her point across.

And at least she'd met Zulian, a supremely interesting person. If there wasn't a message waiting for her when she got home, Washu would look the captain up herself. Just to make sure the boy honored the deal.


	2. First Goodbye

First Goodbye

Even on that first evening, it became clear that events were conspiring against Washu and Zulian getting to have that dinner. There turned out to be an enormous amount of paperwork involved in the purchase of a starship and her classes were still in session and couldn't be skipped.

Washu stayed in her natural form, though. The change back to her juvenile shape wasn't difficult exactly, but now that she'd gotten tall again for the first time in centuries, she decided to keep it up for a while. Admittedly, the stir when she stepped into the classroom the next morning was gratifying.

Washu stepped into her lecture hall after the bell rang and her TA had handed out the day's outline. The babble from the tiers of student seats always died down quickly when she entered but now there was a shocked silence to see the same pink spiky hair gliding into the room but on that very different physique. This Washu wasn't short and child-like while managing to be sharp and commanding. This Washu was nearly six feet tall, long legs and a sizable bust clad in a professor's robe over an Academy uniform tailored to show these attributes off. She wore makeup for the first time in a normal human's lifespan as well, red lips standing out in her fine-featured face.

The silence persisted so long that her heels could be heard clicking on the floor and the slither of papers on the lectern fairly echoed in the room. A young Wau boy dropped something small and Washu's vivid green eyes flicked up to regard the class as a whole. There was a ripple of reaction to that as well.

A moment later she launched right into her prepared lecture. If they thought that this Washu was any less of a hardass when it came to classwork they were quite mistaken. By the end of the period the shock had worn off and things seemed mostly normal again- until the dismissal bell rang. Instead of the usual burst of loud chatter about the topic or their next class, most of the students were talking in that tone one uses when the subject of conversation is standing a few feet away. Because she was.

Stubbornly Washu behaved as she always did; a little banter with her favorites, a demand for a missing assignment from the class slacker. Scientifically speaking it was interesting to note who among them looked at her differently. She entertained herself identifying emotions and speculating about reasons. Jealousy, attraction, even hostility. The young are so easy to read, she mused.

The little drama was repeated twice more that day, even though the first class had spoiled the surprise a bit. It amused her that her last class of the day, more a small discussion group on chemistry and its effects on micro-robotics that focused on grad students and the work they were doing, was full up. Obviously the bulk of the attendees were looking for an excuse to stop by and see the famous professor's change in person.

Just to get the point across that she was still a professor, she gathered the names of all in the room and gave a lecture on the topic at hand, complete with a test at the end. Even if they weren't in the appropriate programs, she made it clear that the results would be shared with advisors of all present. Also no one was allowed to leave once she got started.

At the end of all that, Noral, her TA, stayed behind to gather the papers so Washu could grade them. He grinned at her over the sheaf of tests. "They were hoping for a question and answer session, you know."

"Oh I know they were," Washu sighed, putting her feet up on her desk. It was easier with long legs. She leveled a gaze at Noral. "I suppose you want to know too, hmm?"

"Of course I do, but I know better than to ask. If you were interested in sharing you would." His naturally red and slightly reflective eyes were dancing with mirth. "Life is never dull around you, Professor."

Washu grinned at him. He hadn't changed his attitude towards her at all, which was a relief. There were parts of today where she regretted not reverting to childhood immediately after leaving the shipyard but she stuck it out. Why? She still wasn't sure.

"I do have a question, Prof. Does this have something to do with the sabbatical you've been planning?" Noral's question was casual and artfully phrased.

"You mean the rumors are true? I really am leaving?" Washu feigned surprise. "That would explain the ship I just bought."

Noral whistled a low note. "Wow. That's gonna suck for me, I've got the sweetest gig on campus." He looked around wistfully. "I may have to finish my thesis and get a real job."

The scientist laughed. "You've been hanging around me long enough; maybe you should take mine while I'm away." She laughed again at the shocked look he gave her.

"Prof, if you aren't around, can't nobody teach this stuff. It'll be madness! Besides," and he looked a trifle irked, "Professor Lark is dying for the chance to try."

Privately Washu agreed with his unspoken assessment of Lark. "You'll definitely have to hang around, then." It was as close as she'd get to badmouthing the thin, hyperactive adjunct professor who taught robotics at the lower levels.

They both began walking to the door, but Noral had one last question while she was in this mood. "How soon?" His tone was wistful again.

"A month, maybe a little less. And you *will* be taking some of my classes between now and then." She was pleased to see him straighten a bit with pride. "Have a good evening, Noral."

"You too, Professor Washu."

Washu tossed a long pink lock of hair over her shoulder as she made her way across the campus to her quarters in the teacher's sector. After a certain amount of pointing and staring though she dipped into an alcove and teleported the rest of the way to her own doorstep. Her door recognized her and swished open so she could slip inside. It was almost exactly the same as it had been, what, how many thousands of years ago when she made the first change?

She dropped wearily onto her couch, noticing again how different her place felt now that she was tall again. A wave of melancholy passed over her. "What the hell am I doing?" she muttered to herself. The reasons for her regression to childhood rang loud in her mind now that the quiet of her empty home surrounded her. Standing up, Washu walked to her kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, paused, then brought the bottle to the table. The stack of tests waited for her but first she brought up her screen.

There were a couple of messages waiting; one reminding her of an appointment to finalize the purchase of the ship and another. From Zulian. A genuine smile lit up Washu's face at that. So the captain wasn't just being polite.

She sipped at her wine and settled in to read the message, which was surprisingly lengthy for someone she'd only met the day before. It read:

Dear Washu-  
>I hope you forgive the informal address but I'm feeling very kindly towards you at the moment. Thanks to the generous gift of your quick wit I am able to be a lot choosier with my next contract. I don't know how much you know about a hauler's life but it's such a relief not to have to take the first cargo that comes along just to pay for repairs and docking fees. My crew is also ecstatic that they will get to keep flying. I threatened to make them all get jobs waiting tables to finance the upgrade. They took me seriously, bless them.<p>

Since I'm spending my dry-dock time at the bargaining table I won't be able to buy you that dinner, and I'm literally heartbroken by the fact. I find you fascinating on every level imaginable and would love to get to know you better.

I'm not a woman easily thwarted so I'll find a way, but for now I'll settle for inviting you to the re-launch of my ship at that bore of a shipyard. One week from tonight, I'd be pleased to give you a ship's tour and introduce you to the motley bunch of spacers you've unwittingly become a patron saint to.

Do tell me you'll come and we might even discuss a way to have our ships cross paths in the endless night.  
>-Z<br>Addition: Wear whatever body you are most comfortable in.

Washu read it again, smiling at the way she could practically hear the woman's voice, as if she was in the room. There was something so warm about the message and it lifted her mood a great deal. Dwelling on the past and the change she'd made in that shipyard had threatened to make this a very gloomy night.

Sipping at her wine instead of gulping it, she dashed off a reply promising to be there and expressing amusement at being considered a saint of any kind. Once that was done, she realized that she was terribly disappointed that the dinner wouldn't happen but there were her own preparations to make. As to that addition- well, she'd see how she felt about being a grown-up again in the meantime. Something in her wanted to be able to look this space-faring bunch in the eye but time would tell.

For the time being, she graded the tests and thought about space, but the message from Zulian was still up on the screen.

The week passed too slowly. Routine wasn't much interrupted by her 'new' look once the novelty wore off. There were only one or two at the Academy who knew the story and Washu was pleased that they were keeping it to themselves. Even after millennia it was painful. Thank Void that Clay had taken himself off to the private sector some time back or she'd never have heard the end of it.

She wouldn't have admitted it to anyone but Washu re-read the note from Zulian at least once a night. Just as on that first night it staved off sad remembrances. She read it again on the fourth night when she woke herself out of a dream to find she'd been crying in her sleep.

When the day came she found herself inexplicably nervous. Washu even dithered about what to wear. What would be appropriate for a tour of a freighter? For meeting the crew? For spending time with Zulian? In the end she went with slacks and a black blouse, her Science Academy insignia tastefully displayed. She had a dark moment, thinking that her association with the school was all the status she had, but she reminded herself that the captain and crew of a freighter would hardly care about such things. That was a point in their favor, in her eyes.

That same desk clerk, Berteous, was on duty at the shipyard when Washu arrived. His eyes widened and he nearly tipped his chair over in his haste to stand and greet her. "Professor Hakubi, how nice to see you. Again." His already florid face was even redder as he apparently wondered if she would take him to task for his previous behavior.

"Thank you," Washu smiled at him a little distantly. "Can you direct me to Captain Zulian's ship?"

"Of course! You're expected! Right this way, we have a platform-" He made as if to escort her.

"Just point me to it, I can make the trip on my own."

"Right." He flushed again even though her tone was nothing but polite. "Just through there, Platform Four."

Washu murmured her thanks and stepped along to the teleport platform. 'Dry dock' was a bit of a misnomer- there was an orbiting station that could do extensive repairs on no-atmosphere ships. That's where Zulian and her crew was, ready to get the vessel afloat again and fill its hold with whatever needed moving from one system to another.

To Washu's surprise, Zulian was waiting for her in the teleport room on the other side. "Ah! There you are, and just as tall as I remember!" This fact seemed to please Zulian enormously and she embraced Washu warmly. The move almost startled Washu, who was suddenly reminded of how long it had been since she'd had such contact with anyone.

This seemed to register with Zulian as she parted from Washu. "Don't mind me, I'm always a bit excitable before putting out to space."

"I don't mind a bit, Captain. One should never pass up such a kindly reception." Washu smiled, feeling slightly awkward for a reason she couldn't quite name.

Zulian grinned, a mysterious twinkle in her eye again. "Since I couldn't have an entire evening with you I thought I'd steal a few moments before the party got going." She winked at Washu. "And prepare you to meet the rough bunch I fly with."

Washu laughed. "I'm a glorified school teacher, Captain. If I can't handle rough people after a few thousand years of freshmen, I don't know that I could be trusted to leave the house."

"Well," Zulian conceded, "they aren't that bad. But don't tell them I said so." Once again Zulian wrapped herself around Washu's arm and led her down the corridor to the pressurized dock that held the ship.

There was a great deal of activity beyond the door; a party was in full swing but there was also work being done. Zulian called out in a language Washu couldn't place right off and a man and woman set down the crates they were carrying and came over.

"Kel, Rannel, this is Washu Hakubi. Washu, this is Kel, my second in command," the stout green-haired woman bobbed her head, "and Rannel, my logistics officer." The man, dark-skinned and thin, nodded with a huge grin.

"I can't tell you how pleasant this has been, Professor Hakubi. We may not have to eat the kitchen help on this haul." Rannel joked.

"He can joke about cannibalism all he wants because he knows he's too skinny to feed a hungry cat." Zulian said with a grin.

"I'm glad my little gesture has done you any good at all," Washu said, a little overwhelmed at the aura of relaxed friendliness all around.

"It certainly has!" put in Kel enthusiastically.

"I'm also just happy to meet you in person," Rannel added. "If I hadn't met this wandering soul when I did, I'd probably have been in the first row of all your classes." Rannel looked at Kel fondly. "She made flying through space sound so good I couldn't help but follow."

"Little did he know…" Zulian said in a fake aside to Washu, who smiled.

The fast-paced banter of people who were very familiar with each other went on like that as Washu was shown the ship. Many in the crew stopped by to offer thanks and by the time the night was nearly over Washu was feeling quite embarrassed. She'd known that haulers lived from cargo to cargo but she'd requested that discount so cavalierly that the accolades seemed wildly out of proportion.

Zulian rarely left Washu's side the entire night, although she didn't cling to her arm the whole time. The captain made an entertaining host and did her best to make Washu feel at home among all these strangers.

They were all so open and free with jokes and teasing that the scientist couldn't help but relax and enjoy herself. She even offered some advice to Caffrey, the chief engineer, on his engine efficiency. Instead of getting territorial or defensive he started discussing the various approaches with her. They passed a very pleasant twenty minutes while Zulian was off taking care of some last minute business.

It was Kel and Rannel who kept Washu company after Caffrey had to excuse himself as well. The pair were married, it turned out, and had stories to spare about other voyages aboard other ships.

"Yes, when Zu retires, hopefully a long time from now, we'll find some dirt to stick to as well," Kel said. "You just can't top this crew for hauling companions."

"Too right!" Rannel agreed. "The captain doesn't tolerate slacks or backstabbers just because they work cheap. That ain't true of many. Remember that Seniwan ship?"

Kel groaned. "Do I ever! Good enough crew, except for a few, but you wouldn't know it by the attitudes of the officers. All but calling us low-born scum to our faces- while we did the heavy lifting they wouldn't dirty their hands with! And those noble kids we carted around-"

"I think our guest would rather not learn *too* much about the seedy lives of haulers," Zulian had returned, and noting a slight shadow of distress on Washu's face, redirected the conversation. "We don't want to spoil the illusion of romantic wanderers, always free and happy as birds." She winked at Washu then turned to Kel. "I'm ready to see if she floats, how about you?"

Kel bounced to her feet. "Aye Captain!" She took off at a run. Rannel followed a moment later after nodding a goodbye to Washu.

Zulian looked after them fondly then turned back to her guest. "I told you they were rough spacers. No manners at all."

Washu smiled a little faintly. "Unless you have a mind-reader among your crew I could hardly expect them to know what's a touchy subject." Immediately Washu regretted these words; now Zulian would ask about the touchy subject and the good mood would dissipate altogether.

But Zulian did nothing of the kind. "Come along my dear! You can help me get my tub back into vacuum. It will be practice for your own launching." The bright blue eyes of the captain were full of joy and Washu couldn't help but respond.

Washu took the hand Zulian offered and stood. "I'd like that very much." It was very pleasant to have Zulian's hands on her arm to lead her to the console. It was the equipment that would actually launch the ship.

Zulian made a raucous speech about some of their past voyages and the pirate battle that had necessitated this overhaul. She made some outrageous predictions about the future that set the crew roaring with laughter. She made a mention of Washu's hand in the deal that was made and they gave the scientist a rowdy cheer, complete with wolf-whistles.

At that Washu blushed but she felt Zulian's hand at the small of her back, so she raised her chin and smiled winningly at the assembled, even giving a little bow. They approved, and Zulian wrapped up. She flipped the switches to trigger the launch.

Everyone fell silent as the ship lifted clear of the clamps. The deep belly of the ship hung below them, empty now but able for nearly any sort of cargo. Washu was suddenly reminded that the ceiling they'd been standing under was actually the living and working area of the ship, a great dish that was all the world these folks felt they needed.

There was a puff of energy from a small temporary booster and the whole mass of the ship slid towards the atmosphere shield. Pressurized and tested, of course it would be fine once it slipped into true vacuum. Even so, Washu found she was holding her breath with everyone else. Somehow, something as plain as a deep space freighter managed to look dignified as the little boosters flashed silently to line up the main hatch with the normal dock.

"Hoo-Rah!" Zulian's wild cheer was the trigger; bedlam erupted as the entire crew celebrated. The captain caught Washu in a close embrace. The dark-haired woman leaned in close to speak into Washu's ear. "Maybe you should just sign on with me! Fly the stars with us, won't you?"

Wrapped up in the moment, Washu nearly agreed at once. The offer was obviously a joke she thought, just over exuberance. Still, for just a second, it was tempting. "I don't think your ship could carry mine," Washu teased back.

Zulian laughed. "It might be fun to try!" she said, leaning in close even though the noise had died down. Zulian turned back to the crowd and shouted, "Alright spacers, let's get moving! That ore ain't shifting itself!"

"And if it did, we wouldn't get paid!" Some wit in the back called out as the happy crowd broke up into groups to do whatever tasks needed doing. Zulian grasped Washu by the hand and drew her off to the side to say goodbye.

Of course Washu knew it was coming but she still felt a little shocked. It was over so soon! "So, Captain, off on your next adventure!" The smile Washu wore was genuine, but not as wide as it might have been.

The bright blue eyes of Captain Zulian held a kind of sadness too over her cheerful grin. "Listen, Washu. I'd have given anything to be able to spend more time with you before shipping out- I suspect you have no idea just how much we missed out on- but never mind. I'll be back this way in a year-"

"I'll be on my own ship for the next three years-" Washu said miserably. What did Zulian mean by how much they'd missed?

"Then send me letters! Tell me where you'll be and I'll find you!" Zulian pleaded, her hand gripped Washu's as if to emphasize her sincerity. "I may not be able to respond right away but I'll find a way to find you!"

Of course I will!" Washu promised and for the first time in thousands of years, reached out to hug the person in front of her. Zulian wrapped her up in a tight embrace and the scientist felt her eyes burn with tears. How had this happened? She'd met the woman exactly twice and already it was awful to think of her leaving.

Zulian ended the hug and it was strange to notice that her eyes were also shinier that usual. Zulian's finger brushed a loose hair back from Washu's forehead in a strangely intimate gesture. "Maybe it's better this way, or I'd toss you in my hold and carry you away. Or harness your ship to mine." Zulian gave Washu a mock glare. "I mean it, tell me where to find you or I'll have to comb the galaxy top to bottom!"

Washu laughed despite her blurred vision. "I truly will! Now go! Or they'll leave without you!" What was unspoken was that if Zulian didn't go now Washu might not let her go at all.

"Ha, they can't, I have the keys!" But Zulian dashed off finally, leaving Washu alone in the bay.

Washu wiped at her eyes and stayed until the ship moved around the corner and was out of sight. It took her some long minutes to get herself to the point where being seen by that idiotic desk clerk wouldn't make her embarrassed. With as much dignity and poise as she could muster she made her way home.

The scientist fell into bed and slept immediately; a combination of drink and the crowd and the goodbye had taken its toll. It was more than clear that Zulian would be a great friend to have, and it had been a long time since Washu had a true friend without some sort of barrier. There might be something more but it didn't come to the surface; it couldn't. Zulian was gone, off into space.

The last trip she made to the shipyard was for the launch of her own ship; it would take off from the planet's surface. Three weeks had passed; the atmosphere couldn't be any more different. There was only Noral to see her off.

"I shouldn't be the only one here, Professor, you know?" Noral said earnestly. "Why did you pick this time to head out? Another week and mid-terms would be over. The whole class- hell, the whole school would have come!"

Washu smiled at her assistant. "I know, but I don't need much of that sort of attention. At least not these days." She tried to turn it into a joke. "Besides, that would be a bit much for a hermit like me."

Noral looked at her. "So the cure is to head out into space all alone?"

The scientist cocked her head to the side. "Who said anything about a cure for hermitude? I have some research to do that I can accomplish best without distraction, in the places where the reactions are happening. Also, you lot have all but swallowed up my subspace lab and I don't mean to displace anyone just now."

"Yeah, but-" Noral was having trouble expressing something to his mentor. He squared hs shoulders and bulled ahead. "For a little while, it seemed like you might have been trying to find someone." He blushed. "I don't mean to pry, Prof, you know that, it's just-"

"I think I have everything I need, especially with friends to look after me." Not in the least concerned with protocol, Washu put a hand on Noral's shoulder and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Please make sure the school is still standing when I get back?"

"Of course, Professor." Noral straightened up and gave her a salute. "Come home soon, we- I'll miss you."

Washu patted his cheek and stepped onto the lift that would take her up to the hatch. Fully loaded with equipment and provisions, everything was in place. All that was left was to seal herself in and signal the mechanical dockhands to release the clamps. Washu did so then started the atmosphere engines.

It wasn't long before she was in space. The ship, whimsically named Floating Point, set course to one of the nebulae on the periphery of the Jurain empire. That was where her work would begin. Three months there ought to do it, then on to something else.


	3. First Lesson

First Lesson

For three months Washu worked in the nebula. Her research wasn't related at all to her current work at the school; that was what made it a vacation. A working vacation, but still. A change is as good as a rest, and this woman was not one to stand still for long. She also had ten thousand years- give or take a few centuries- of habit and experience to lean on. Once she got off by herself the flow came easily. Review over coffee and breakfast, observe and record until lunch. Repairs and adjustments as needed, dinner at some point, then sleep.

Naturally this only lasted for the first month when her over-achieving mind took over and she got wrapped up in results, discoveries, and new questions to ask. A calm breakfast was replaced by just coffee, since her hands were busy on the keyboard. Her life shifted into an extended day; she even adjusted her ship's clock to give her the equivalent of a twenty-eight hour day for the purposes of the work-sleep cycle. Shortly after, her automatic systems kicked into a reminder cycle that let her know at certain points how long it had been since she'd eaten, or slept, if these numbers got too high.

All of this got recorded, of course. When she handed over her data and write-up for publication all factors would need to be acknowledged including the state of the researcher, but it was all SOP and done without thought.

Thoughts of Zulian never occurred to her anymore, or anyone else for that matter. Her work occupied her to the fullest at the nebula and when she moved back in towards galactic civilization to examine some outlier stars, things started out fine there too. At first.

Washu had never been in such a state before. She'd worked longer and harder periods of her life on her own. Then why, after only six months of her solo trip, was she ready to start digging an escape tunnel through her ship's hull with her bare hands?

The whole feeling was so unlike her, so out of the ordinary that she even wondered if she was sick. But her vitals were all good, her blood-work all came back clean. Stress levels were elevated. Her concentration was full of holes. Then there were the temper tantrums. These days she spent much of her time fixing and replacing equipment broken in a fit of pique.

The pink-haired scientist had been awake for an hour already but instead of getting up she burrowed deeper, pulling her covers over her head. Maybe she wouldn't get out of bed at all today. What difference would it make, anyway?

She groaned and sat up, finally ready to face some facts. "What I need is a change of venue." Indeed, any change at all would be welcome. Maybe it was the routine such as it was that was getting her down. Put in at a station for a week, see what happened. It seemed that even the chance at change aided her mood and motivation because she was able to sit up and start looking into what was available nearby. The holographic screen she summoned scrolled with information about the surrounding star systems. Nothing much of interest, just a refuel and resupply and a couple sparsely populated planets. On a whim she set a course for the second planet out. Maybe there would be a bar or something.

The ship had been set up in such a way that decision was immediately followed by action. At her decisive thought, a thousand little activities kicked on. The ship began to make its way towards the appropriate system.

"Told you I didn't have to get out of bed," she declared to the empty room. Or rather the various devices that did her bidding with little clacks, clicks and whirring sounds.

Eventually she did stir from the sleeping area, getting herself cleaned up and moderately presentable. Research in sleepwear was fun but it had led to a certain cavalier attitude. That was probably contributing to her lethargy and to put it bluntly, depression. So she dressed comfortably in loose shorts and a short sleeve blouse. It did make her feel better.

She had just made it to the bridge of the ship when an alert came on: another ship was approaching, and not by coincidence judging by the intercept course. The ship was a small runabout, barely more than a skiff really. Washu's computers recognized it as the captain's shuttle of the freighter Igonaven. Where had she heard that name before?

"Ahoy the vessel!" Came a familiar voice over the hailing channel. "Spare some air for a drifting traveler?"

"Captain Zulian!" Washu exclaimed, slapping open her end of the connection. "What the Void are you doing out here?" Her long fingers danced over the sequence that prepped the docking bay. Little red robots with hoverskirts skittered around the bay, making room for the small vessel.

"Would you believe me if I said my crew mutinied and chucked me out?"

"Not for a moment!" Washu laughed at the thought. "From what I saw at the shipyard, they'd rather turn to stone than work for anyone else!"

Zulian's rich, throaty laugh rolled through the connection. "They've got you fooled as well then." She sounded supremely relaxed and cheerful as her gig was drawn into the maw of the Floating Point's docking bay and slotted neatly into the hastily cleared space.

Washu set the rest of her drones to cleaning up the detritus of her solo living while she raced down to the cavernous bay. She vaguely remembered Zulian teasing about finding her on this voyage, and Washu must have sent her the list of places she intended to be.

Washu had to slow down enough to maneuver carefully among several experiments that were running but she quickened her pace again and arrived just as the hatch on the gig released with a hiss and clunk. The recycled air puffed out, a little stale but it carried a whiff of the occupant's perfume as well.

"Requesting permission to come aboard!" As usual, Zulian spoke in a tone that made it quite clear that she would not be denied whatever she went after. She emerged from the hatch, seeming to unfold herself and take possession of the room. Shoulder-length black hair framed her face, although most of it was caught up in a loose bunch at the nape of her neck. Tiny pince-nez dark glasses perched on her nose and did nothing practical besides make Zulian look just a little wicked. Her mid-length coat brushed at the bare skin of her legs since her fitted black shorts stopped before mid-thigh.

"By all means, Captain! My ship is yours!" Washu knew she was grinning rather foolishly but she couldn't help it after so long alone. Washu had to admit that the woman was striking, especially with the black hair and clothes, accented by the red coat. It was also the first time Washu had seen the woman out of her ship uniform jacket.

Zulian looked slightly pained as she tucked away the little spectacles. "You really shouldn't say things like that, dear. I'm not so far removed from piracy that I'm not tempted to take you at your word." She let her bright blue eyes roam around the cargo bay, which had been so empty and spacious before, and was now full enough that her gig seemed positively losable in the jumble. "I see you've been busy."

For some reason this made Washu blush. She suddenly wanted to impress Zulian and ruthlessly quashed an impulse to run around bragging about her work on this trip. She opted instead to invite her guest to the lounge, trusting that her bots had cleaned up by now.

They had, but the lounge with its observation pane and comfortable furniture had the look of hasty vacancy. One pillow was still settling as if recently plumped by something that had just vanished.

Washu sat on the end of the sofa and offered Zulian any seat. She was a little surprised when the woman chose to sit close, facing her on the wide comfortable sofa. Zulian seemed to notice the startled reaction, for her smile became a little knowing and she settled in a little more, tucking her feet under her and deliberately overlapping Washu's space. Their knees touched quite casually, but the scientist found herself flustered by the contact and was absurdly aware of her guest.

"So I guess you've not had company lately?" Zulian asked archly. Amusement dripped from her tone and those sharp blue eyes bored into Washu.

The scientist flushed and smiled sheepishly. "It's fairly apparent, isn't it?"

Zulian's laugh was rich and low. "You seem built for solitude, but it would do you good to interact more than once every five years."

"That may be, but…" Washu let her defensiveness trail off. "Is this how you avoid explaining what the Void you're doing here?" The freighter captain had so smoothly made herself at home that Washu was flustered all over again. Their previous encounter hadn't allowed them more than a few seconds alone together and the scientist was quite at a loss for how to act.

"I told you I'd find you, but really I'm here to save you." The devilish glint in Zulian's eye made her innocent look completely unconvincing.  
>Washu scoffed at the second part. "I assure you Captain, I am fully capable of looking after myself."<p>

"I don't doubt that, Scientist, but even you are vulnerable to traps and sneak attacks."

One of Washu's elegant eyebrows rose quizzically, both at the odd address and the assertion itself. "Traps?"

Zulian leaned in, her hand casually resting on Washu's bare knee. "You set a course for Zotz, didn't you?"

"I suppose I did." Her attention was a little divided: Zulian hadn't moved her hand yet. "Is that a problem?"

"Oh, only if you want to keep your ship, your freedom or your clear conscience."

That got Washu's attention. "I haven't had a clear conscience in thousands of years." She sounded bitter even to herself. "But is it really that bad?"

Something in Washu's tone or words made Zulian peer at her more closely, but she didn't comment on it right away. "We could still go if you need something specific, but it would be prudent to have me along to watch your back." She leaned back, casually removing her hand from the knee it had been resting on, to Washu's relief- and disappointment.

"Again, I appreciate the offer Captain-"

"Stop calling me that, _Scientist._"

Washu blinked at the interruption. "Beg pardon?"

"First of all, this is your ship," Zulian explained patiently. "You are captain at the moment but since you don't seem the order-giving type, at least regarding your ship, it isn't necessary. Second of all," and her smile turned wry, "one of the points of leaving my ship on vacation is to hear someone say my name once in a while."

"Zulian, then." Washu said. Again there was that awkward moment where she was unsure of what should happen next.

"Great Space, Scientist!" Zulian cried in exasperation. "It's worse than I remember!"

"Huh?"

"Your social sense has totally atrophied."

Washu flushed. "What does that matter? I have my work, after all. I don't usually spend time and energy on small talk-"

"Because it serves no purpose?" Zulian filled in for her.

"Well, yes, essentially." The scientist was definitely feeling defensive.

"We can argue about that, if you like. I put it to you that purpose is only useful eighty percent of the time." There was a challenge in the dark-haired woman's tone and her lips quirked slightly.

Washu smiled at this approach; making it sound science-y. "I suppose you have data to back that up?"

"Nope, just experience," Zulian said with a defiant toss of her head.

Washu sighed. "So, Captain Zulian, what makes you the one to re-educate me into polite society?"

Zulian leaned in for a conspiratorial whisper. Unconsciously Washu leaned in as well so she wouldn't miss it. "I have to tell you that it wasn't really society I had in mind, Washu." The freighter captain continued to lean and for a wild moment Washu was sure Zulian was about to kiss her.

That's why it was such a shock when that was exactly what happened. It was slightly more than a peck, but it seemed to promise far more than a simple touching of lips ought to be capable of. Washu's eyes flew wide open but Zulian had leaned slightly back before she could react further.

It seemed like she should say something. "Well," Washu managed after a moment, "there's something that doesn't happen every day."

"And it shows in your technique!" Zulian laughed at her host's flash of outrage. "I'm sure it will come back to you."

"There was hardly time for you to gauge my technique!" Washu was blushing, but from the sudden kiss or at the dig even she wasn't sure.

Zulian's lips twitched into a sly smile. "Shall we try again, then?"

Washu leaned back, startled. "What?"

The captain's expression became slightly irritated. "Y'know, for a genius? You're awfully slow." She shook her head sadly as she leaned to the side, slinging an arm over the back of the couch. "Maybe I really am too late. But let me put it in terms you're going to understand."

Her look became very frank. "I said once before that you fascinate me on every level. This is true physically as well. I find you very appealing. I would like to do things to you… well, I won't be crass. Yet. You're out of practice but even that is attractive, and most certainly temporary."

Zulian was right, Washu couldn't misunderstand the situation any longer. She was also correct about Washu being out of practice. She opened her mouth to speak once but closed it again in confusion.

"The fact that you haven't thrown me off your ship yet tells me that the idea appeals to you as well, at least somewhat. Do you find me attractive?" The woman shifted slightly into a pose that showcased her body and lifted her chin, demanding an answer.

Washu looked at her guest for a moment, taking in lush body, lovely face, and knowing smile. She met Zulian's gaze and thought she looked amused rather than annoyed at the analysis. "Yes, of course you are."

"But you don't remember what to do about it."

Again it was too patently true to be denied. Washu smiled awkwardly. "Well Captain, nothing's coming to mind, honestly."

Zulian laughed her throaty laugh again. "Oh Scientist! What a rare treat you are. A blushing virgin again, without all that pesky youthful idiocy. I'll bet you don't even fly solo these days."

Washu blushed hard at the implication. The truth was she had not done anything remotely sexual in more than a thousand years. Keeping herself in a prepubescent state short-circuited a lot of hormonal triggers and her work occupied her mind and time. She'd stuck with her adult form for this trip to avoid the hassles like at the shipyard where she and Zulian had first crossed paths. Also, the ship had high counters and shelves. But really, the idea just never occurred to her anymore. It had been longer still since she'd had a partner but *how* long utterly escaped her.

Suddenly Washu rallied. "So you left your ship and crew behind somewhere in space and hunted me down to, what, seduce me?"

"Yes, among other things."

"Why?"

Zulian raised an eyebrow. "Why do I need another reason? I told you: I'm on vacation, and I think spending that time with you would be great. If we spend some of that time in bed together it would be even better. If you're not interested, it won't happen. But I don't want your rusty reactions to be the reason it doesn't happen. So I'm willing, even eager, to…remind you how this part goes."

Washu had to admire how the freighter captain could be so direct and oblique at the same time. And she'd be lying if she claimed her interest wasn't aroused. Science hadn't been much fun lately anyhow. And along with everything else Zulian was right about, she was right that Washu was no naïve girl even if she *did* feel like a blushing virgin, as the captain so kindly put it. Even without any more illusions about her intentions, her reactions to Zulian's advances were going to be hesitant at first.

As if she could read her host's mind- which Washu was not going to discount as a possibility- Zulian grinned wolfishly. "Let's try that kiss again then."

"Wasting no time, eh?" But Washu was grinning through her blush. Even when they met before, she'd been astonished at how easily this woman could reach out, and how much it made her want to reach as well.

"You're playing coy enough for both of us." Zulian smiled too as she leaned forward again.

Washu shrugged with an air of helplessness. "If it helps, I'm not playing."

"I know, Washu dear. It's quite adorable actually." Since Washu hadn't leaned forward herself Zulian hooked her strong fingers in the scientist's shirt collar and drew her in for a kiss. Lips pressed together, the kiss was slow and far gentler than Washu was expecting. Nothing she couldn't handle. And so sweet.

Zulian pulled away after, but not far. "I've now had more chance to test your technique, and I think there's a great deal of potential."

Washu laughed. "I'm so glad to hear I'm not a complete disappointment." It had been a very nice kiss, and she'd be glad for another, even if she couldn't think how to initiate such a thing.

Zulian winked, then ran a soft hand along Washu's jaw-line. "The only thing that would have disappointed me would be if you had kicked me out." Her smile turned a little wicked as the slightly intimate gesture increased the rosy blush.

"Well don't try to kill me and we'll get along fine." She ignored Zulian's raised eyebrow and declined to explain further. "Holding back some though, aren't you?"

"Yes I am," Her voice was casual, even a little abstracted, but her hand was tracing the line of Washu's neck. "As I said, you are a rarity as you are." Washu was leaning into the touch ever so slightly, like a cat, and apparently without being aware of it. "It would be a shame to rush things too much. Timing is important." Zulian's touch drifted down to follow the buttons of Washu's plain silk shirt. The leaning carried even to that, to Zulian's amusement.

"My, aren't you responsive," Zulian purred, giving Washu a hungry sort of look. When it seemed like Washu was about to pull away as if embarrassed, Zulian slipped her hand to the back of the scientist's neck and held her gaze. "It's a good thing, you know. I like to know that what I'm doing feels good to you."

As silly as it was, Washu was struggling with herself. Zulian's touch did feel good, even though it was still pretty tame as far as intimacy went. The fact that it was triggering something like a fear reaction was objectively interesting but functionally distressing.

"I know that much, in my head," Washu managed, her face burning hotter, "but I keep locking up for some reason." She couldn't retreat with Zulian's hand preventing it, but she couldn't really maintain eye contact either. Her gaze dropped- only to focus on Zulian's rather artfully displayed cleavage, soft skin outlined by the tailored fit of her black shirt and framed by that open red jacket. Washu immediately lost the power of speech and tried to look anywhere but at her guest.

Zulian didn't force the scientist to look at her but she did change the hold into a caress. "Well, my dear," she said it gently, "I think unlocking you will be eminently worth it. With your permission, of course."

A shiver passed through Washu, not entirely composed of arousal. Now that she was a little more aware, she couldn't help but deal with the fact that her body was reacting way ahead of her ability to cope. It was so stupid, she thought. There was no threat here, no physical danger, or it seemed, psychological danger. Zulian was not proposing anything harmful.

Washu was afraid and she didn't know why.

In another instance of seeming mind-reading, Zulian spoke again. "I think I know part of what's bothering you."

The declaration startled Washu. "Do you, now? I'd like to hear it and whatever you've got to back it up," she said defensively. The lashing out was unintentional but it was too late to call it back.

The freighter captain took it well enough. "I didn't bring my diplomas with me, but would you take my word for it that I have an advanced education in psychology?"

"Zulian, I don't see-" Washu stopped. "Do you?"

The chuckle that rolled out of Zulian was low. "Really, Washu, if it's credentials that get you hot…" Again Washu flushed at the tease but Zulian didn't give her a chance to start protesting. "We'll say 'yes' for now and assume I've got everything you like in a brain. Then we can get back to bodies."

It happened with a move so smooth that the scientist had no chance to protest. Zulian swung herself up and over so that she had a knee on either side of Washu, straddling her lap. The long-forgotten feeling of another body so close made Washu's vivid green eyes fly wide open and she fought down a rush of feeling that threatened to overwhelm her. Just what that feeling was, was up for debate. She felt the warmth of Zulian's hands on her sides and drew in a sharp breath.

"That's just fine, honey." Zulian was practically purring again. "It's just as I expected."

"What is?" Washu asked, a trifle breathless for some reason.

"Your body knows what it likes, but your brain has to relearn the language, that's all. And something else, I think." Those hands started to move up and down, gently exploring the sides of Washu's body, thumbs wrapped casually around to smooth at Washu's ribs, coming only near the lower curve of her breasts.

"What else?" How in Space was such a simple caress taking her breath away? Washu forced herself not to look away from those blue eyes this time.

Zulian's sensual lips turned up into an approving smile. She didn't answer right away. Both of her hands smoothed their way up to Washu's shoulders, paused, then moved slowly and deliberately down the front of her chest.

Washu gasped and her back arched of its own accord, pressing into the contact as Zulian's strong hands passed across her apparently very sensitive breasts. She could see the smug smile on the captain's face as the woman leaned in to whisper.

"You want it so bad you think you'll explode if you lose control."

Once more it seemed Zulian was right on the money. The sensation that had built up, the anticipation, the wanting that had built up in the short while that Zulian had been tantalizing Washu was threatening to drown her in lust. She still didn't feel like she knew what to do with it all, or with the gorgeous woman camped on her lap, but now that the feeling had been named there was no denying it. She thought she ought to say something, acknowledge Zulian's assessment somehow, but it wasn't necessary.

Zulian bent slightly and captured Washu's lips with her own, kissing her deeply and with such raw passion that the scientist couldn't help but respond, pressing back with equal force until the kiss became a game of tug-of-war, each trying to draw the other closer. The freighter captain stepped it up by moving down to press her lips and tongue to Washu's throat and the side of her neck.

Washu moaned at the flood of sensory input. Dear goddess that felt good. She tried to contain herself, not show just how much the touch was arousing her.

Finally Zulian ended her actions and drew back enough to grin at Washu's mind-blown expression. "Now *that* was good technique." The captain's face was also flushed and her eyes were full of mischief.

"That was- educational," Washu said with considerable understatement.

"So I can stay?"

"Washu gaped for a moment, then laughed. "Yes, please," she said in a slightly embarrassed tone.

"Good," Zulian smirked, then went for another, though shorter, kiss. "Then I can teach you not to hold back on me."

"I was not holding back, Zulian!" Washu protested when she was able to.

An eyebrow shot up and Zulian looked skeptical. "Oh really?" She started teasing Washu again, touching and pressing, and watching her 'victim' try not to cry out from the sensation.

"Aahh…" Washu's voice was high, almost strangled as she fought to maintain control.

"We're quite alone here, you know," Zulian murmured, her questing fingers sliding down Washu's body, seeking and teasing. "No need for such restraint."

"Hey-" But that was all she managed for the moment. Zulian's mouth was on hers again and the touches didn't stop. The captain's fingers deftly began working at the buttons of Washu's shirt. That was effective all on its own but when there were no more buttons to undo, Washu experienced another shock of sensation as she felt those teasing fingers on the bare skin of her belly and sides. She couldn't help it anymore; she squirmed in Zulian's grip, her body seeking more contact even as her mind was trying to regain the upper hand- to no avail. A deep shuddering gasp escaped her when Zulian cupped one of her breasts in a warm palm, tracing the erect nipple with the ball of her thumb.

"That's right, dear," Zulian spoke with lust in her own voice; she seemed to be enjoying this as well. "Let me hear you."

Not that Washu could stop it now. Her head tossed back and the feelings that started at her chest shot like lightning down to her center, drawing a low moan from her. If Zulian didn't stop soon, Washu was likely to climax right on the spot. She didn't even know that was possible for her, but it had been an incredibly long time.

Zulian did slow and stop, for a moment. She pulled away and looked at Washu speculatively. With deliberate slowness she pulled Washu's shirt open and paused to admire the view. "You really are lovely you know, and that blush goes all the way down, doesn't it?"

What could Washu say to that? Biting her lip, she felt she should return the compliment, or try to pull her blouse closed or something, but Zulian placed a finger on Washu's lips to forestall speech.

"Scientist, consider this the first part of the lesson." Without breaking eye contact, Zulian backed off of Washu's lap, knelt on the floor, and used both hands to draw the pink-haired woman's hips to the edge of the couch.

Washu only had time to widen her eyes in surprise before she felt the warm wetness of the beautiful woman's mouth on her breast. "Aahhhh!" It was something between a moan and a shout, but it didn't matter. The wave of sensation all but swept her away, her head tossing backwards with reaction. It doubled when Zulian changed sides, adding deft manipulations with strong yet soft fingertips. This time Washu did climax, her body arching. Her hands reflexively gripped Zulian's shoulders, but not to push her away.

Even so, Zulian did not let up until Washu's muscles had relaxed out of self-defense and she slumped, hot and shaking.

"See?" Zulian smirked, changing places again to sit behind the other woman, drawing her into a spooning sort of position, Washu's back resting against Zulian's chest. "No smoke, no char. A few sparks perhaps, but no explosion."

"That's what you think." But Washu was grinning weakly. "It… How…"

"Great Space, Scientist!" Zulian chuckled. "I've rendered you speechless!"

"Among other things, yes," Washu confessed. Her trouble now was not letting on that her body, having been reminded, so to speak, was by no means sated. Tired, but not finished. She knew it was physiologically impossible to store up something like desire or sexual pressure. There was just no chemical or anatomical mechanism for such a thing, and her control over her substance had been absolute for thousands of years. But there was no denying that it had only taken those little touches to set her off, something she had never experienced before.

"Well, I must say I didn't figure you for a screamer." Zulian's hands were on the move again, starting innocently enough with lazy strokes on Washu's arms.

"I didn't scream!" Washu was indignant.

"Zulian made a 'tsh' noise. "I'll do better next time." She ignored Washu's spluttering and continued. "Anyway," and her idly moving hands took on a more purposeful pressure, "we've only just got started. Now that I have you where I want you," Zulian's lips were near enough to Washu's ears that her breath and the movement sent a shiver through her, "I've got some experiments to suggest that you will find very…stimulating." The freighter captain's strong hands had slid down to Washu's belly, smoothing their way down until she rested the heel of her palm at just the right point for her fingers to curl down for an intimate caress through the fabric.

Washu gasped and without meaning to she grabbed Zulian's wrist to forestall any further movement.

"Hmm," Zulian purred, "It seems we're still dealing with some mixed messages."

"I didn't mean- I'm not saying-" Washu was again at a loss and she could feel her face burning hot again. But she also couldn't make herself let go of Zulian's arm.

"All part of the process, dear." The dark haired woman left the one hand under Washu's control but began to toy with the clasp of Washu's shorts with the other. "I really will stop if you ask me to, but I reserve the right to interpret some of these little moments using my educated judgment." The button was undone and slowly those strong fingers began to slide inside, but staying on the outside of Washu's silk panties.

Washu's breath quickened, and to stop herself from grabbing Zulian's other wrist, she reached a bit behind her, feeling the taut and smooth thigh of the woman who was holding her. That actually added another level of sensation but it did cut down on her almost fearful reaction to the hand that was now pressing intimately against her. She shuddered again, realizing she was almost too sensitive to last long against even the gentler stimulation.

"You want me to keep going, right? You are so ready you think you'll die if I stop, but you think you'll die if I go any…farther…than…this…" each pause was there to let Washu feel the full length of the harder longer strokes. The smooth fabric added its own dimension to the touch.  
>Washu whimpered at the last movement, her hips rising reflexively and her hand clutched at Zulian's wrist. She still did not let go, but did not prevent the other woman moving her hand up. She'd quite forgotten that her shirt was still open until she felt Zulian's warm hand against her bare breast. Another whimper escaped her.<p>

"Good, good," Zulian's throaty voice was rough with desire. "I need feedback like that. Tell me, dear. Tell me I can have you and I promise you won't die." Zulian had set up a rhythm but the strokes had less pressure for the moment, as if waiting for permission.

It took Washu a moment to find her ability to speak; non-verbal didn't seem fair somehow. "I-" Washu bit her bottom lip and kept going, almost fighting off the sensation long enough to muster the words. "I want you to- You can-" She couldn't finish but she didn't need to.

Their position meant that she couldn't see Zulian's face, but the smile could be heard in her voice. "Thank you, I think I will." Without further delay, that hand slid inside the thin garment and fingers stroked down into Washu unimpeded.

There was no longer any meaning to individual motions from Washu's point of view- her entire being was focused on the sensations the woman was drawing out of her and suddenly she was there again. There was no question of stopping herself from calling out her pleasure this time. Zulian held their bodies firmly together as Washu's second, more powerful orgasm rolled over and through her. This time she felt quite finished, even exhausted, for all it was so fast- from her point of view.

Zulian sighed contentedly, the deep breath moving both their bodies. "I've wanted to do that from the first moment I saw the real you." She withdrew from Washu's shorts but merely wrapped her arms around the scientist, making no move to do anything more than hold her.

Washu, recovering, was a little surprised at the words. "Really?" It seemed like she should be embarrassed, or worried, but she just couldn't. Zulian meant her nothing but good, that was so very clear. It was wonderful to just be in someone's arms again. To be in Zulian's arms... even better.

Zulian chuckled. "See, I knew you hadn't put the pieces together. I really don't hang off of every pretty girl I come across, you know. But there was something about you, so knowing and so naïve at the same time. And beautiful, without seeming to be aware of it."

Caught up in the candor of the moment- what could she have to hide after the events of the past little while- Washu spoke up again. "I didn't know, didn't even think it. I haven't- tried to be close to…" She didn't finish, but again Zulian didn't need her to.

"I could see that. Even if it wasn't clear enough from the shape you had before, I could see it all over you. Arm's length from everything. Hiding from something."

Washu's eyes closed again at the thought. "Yes, well." Again Zulian didn't press, much to Washu's relief. She would likely be able to talk about it, but just now she was in the wrong mood for dwelling on the past.

"I do apologize for my forwardness just now," Zulian said with a tinge of amusement in her voice, not sounding sorry at all. "I'll admit I let my desire get a bit ahead of my patience."

Washu smiled and squeezed Zulian's arm. "I'm not sure patience would have gotten anywhere with me," she confessed. It was easier to speak freely without having to worry about eye contact and the like. "'Set in my ways' barely covers it. But," and she blushed again, just as happy Zulian couldn't see her directly, "what about you?"

"Hmm, are you up for more fun and games after all?" Her tone was teasing. "You needn't worry about me just now, I am not the one who's been celibate for more than a thousand years. Or so I've heard. And I live for anticipation."


	4. First Sight

First Sight

Washu found it a little strange that they were finally getting to have dinner together after what had just happened; sure she was out of practice, but didn't the date usually come before the sex? Oddly though, with Zulian it didn't seem too out of place; the woman clearly made her own rules in a lot of different ways.

The way dinner came together, for instance. Washu's lethargy and devotion to her work had led to the robots being largely in charge of preparing sustenance. While they were adequate at the task it often ended up being nutritionally balanced but hardly interesting. Zulian took one look at the robot headed for the kitchen and shook her head. "It's a wonder you haven't wasted away. Come on, I think we can do better."

And that was how Washu ended up chopping vegetables for soup under Zulian's watchful eye. Somehow the freighter captain had found a rack of spices, something even Washu hadn't known was there. Apparently it was included in the kitchenette on the ship but she just hadn't run across it or gone looking for it before.

"It's pretty hard to mess up soup," Zulian said conversationally while she pulled out a few of the spices. "I'm no chef but this is something I'm pretty good at, I think you'll like it."

"I imagine I will," Washu said with a smile, gesturing to the colorful pile of veggies that had just passed under her knife. Zulian looked at it appraisingly and set one more tuber in front of Washu, who dutifully began to dress it for chopping. "I would say that something like this is a lot like chemistry but I haven't seen you measure anything even once."

"Washu, some chemistry defies measurement," Zulian said, wrapping her arms around the scientist's middle from behind, taking advantage of the proximity to place a kiss on the side of Washu's neck before continuing with her chin resting on Washu's shoulder. "But to be honest, one of the joys of something like this is that it's never the same twice. Measuring is for getting consistent results. Boring, at least in the kitchen."

Washu shivered at the kiss and nearly missed with her knife. It was distracting to have another body so close to hers, but in a thoroughly pleasant way. As long as she didn't spill any of her own blood. "I get the feeling that you tolerate very little that's boring." She finished the tuber and added it to the pile.

"True," Zulian said, kissing Washu again before pulling away enough to scoop up the pile of prepared vegetables with bare hands and dump them into the pot. Washu got what was left in the same manner. She noted that there were more efficient ways to transfer from cutting board to pot but the tactile experience was interesting doing it with hands.

Everything was ready, now it only needed heat and time to turn from vegetables, meat, liquid and spices into soup. Zulian adjusted the heating element to get it to a boil. Thanks to some of Washu's modifications the boil part could be accomplished in moments but Zulian refused to flash-boil it. "That doesn't give things time to settle in and start spreading out." She grinned at the scientist. "A slow simmer is good but there are reactions that take place during the buildup of heat that are essential."

Washu cocked her head at the other woman. "Are you still talking about dinner?"

Zulian stopped and thought, then laughed. "I was, but I suppose now that you mention it, it's true in a lot of activities." Her look turned slightly wicked. "We *do* have some time to kill while the chemistry takes place. I imagine we'll find some way not to be bored."

"Probably," Washu said, blushing again. "But first we'll have to clean up." She gestured at the surfaces strewn with bits and pieces and the tools they'd used and set aside.

"Oh, we will," Zulian promised. "We can do that while the heat builds up." The innuendo may have been inadvertent before, but this time she meant it. As they moved about the small kitchenette they kept brushing against each other; Zulian's hands finding excuses to rest on Washu's hips as she moved around the other woman, or Washu sliding her palm down Zulian's back as she leaned around her to gather up the knives to put them in the cleaner. Perhaps again it was a sign of how long it had been since she'd had this style of sensory input but it was already having an effect.

The effect got even stronger when Zulian took the opportunity while Washu was wiping down the cutting board to get in close again and whisper into her ear. Apparently the freighter captain had several thoughts on what to do while they waited for the food to cook and she teasingly offered them up for Washu's consideration. By the time the kitchenette was spotless and the pot was bubbling happily, the scientist was crimson from her hairline down and she seemed slightly out of breath.

Zulian was a little flushed as well as she adjusted the heat under the pot to allow it to go from boil to slow simmer. Since they'd already set the cutlery to be cleaned, she dipped a finger into the pot, hissing slightly at the heat. She tasted the concoction by sucking on her fingertip. "Mmm, I think this will do just fine." She grinned at Washu's raised eyebrow. "Sterile technique is for surgery; cooking not so much. We've already washed up, after all." She dipped the finger again more deeply, ignoring the quick burn, but Washu caught Zulian's hand and tasted it herself, wrapping her lips around the finger. Zulian gave a pleased little sigh and wet her lips at the sensation as Washu slowly drew back.

A little surprised at herself but enjoying the reaction she'd gotten, Washu grinned. "It is coming along nicely, isn't it?" And it did taste good- the soup, that is. Some of the spices were a little sharp but the simmer should take care of that.

"I think *you* are coming along nicely too," Zulian murmured, drawing the scientist in for a kiss. It started out to be just a little thing but due to all the teasing it quickly threatened to get out of hand. Zulian was the one who had to put on the brakes and start moving them out of the kitchenette. When her lips were free for speaking briefly, she pointed out the danger of getting too friendly around a simmering pot of scalding liquid. "I mean, I like lots of things, but if we're playing like that let's not use dinner, hmm?"

Washu's eyes got wide at the implication there and Zulian started giggling. "Or perhaps we'll stick to the basics just now. I'd hate to scare you off."

"Basics are good," Washu said, blushing again. Of course now she was filling in the blanks of 'lots of things' herself.

"But by all means, feel free to suggest whatever kink just popped into your pretty head," Zulian said with a lascivious smirk. "Like I said, I like *lots* of things."

"Captain, are you reading my mind?" Washu tried really hard not to think about the things she'd just been thinking about, which only made her think about it more.

Zulian laughed out loud and tugged Washu's body against hers so they pressed together at hips and breasts, ignoring the slight resistance since it melted away immediately. "Good grief no, Scientist; just your reactions. You're a bit of an open book and it's so cute I can hardly stand it."

"I'm not used to being read so easily," Washu complained. "I'm a very controlled person." She didn't mind at all being held by Zulian while they chatted. She distracted herself from her embarrassment by taking the opportunity to run hands up the other woman's back. Zulian had tied her hair up in a twist while they were cooking so her neck was exposed. Washu felt the urge to trace it with her fingertips and got a delighted shiver out of Zulian for her troubles.

Even so, Zulian could keep up the conversation. "That's not strictly true, Washu; you expect your students to read you immediately, right? I've seen those 'Professor' looks you give. I don't even think you realize you're doing it. It's just that now you're sending different signals, and I am exactly the right person to read them." Zulian's eyes drifted closed as Washu's light touches became something more like caresses. "For instance, I'm reading that you're going to be a handful when you get past your shyness."

"Do I still come across as really shy?" She thought she was learning to reach out, and what was more, she wanted to reach out to this person, find out what got her attention. Washu still felt shy, though.

"Compared to me? Yes. Compared to earlier? A load of difference." Zulian's bright blue eyes held Washu's green eyes. "Feel like shedding some more shyness? Because I can help with that." The attempt at looking innocently helpful was so deliberately comical that it was Washu's turn to dissolve into giggles.

She was prevented from truly responding by one of her alarms going off and a small drone flying up to her with a flashing light on the top. It only took a moment for her to realize what was happening. "Oh hells, that compound can't be left alone much longer or bad things could happen." Even so she was reluctant to let go and head into the hold where her experiments were running.

"Well let's do what we can to avoid 'bad things', dear," Zulian said, giving her a kiss. "And actually, I wouldn't mind having a wash; you *do* have a shower or something here, right? I spent quite some time in that cramped little scow on my way to you."

Relieved, Washu nodded. "Just in here," she took Zulian by the hand and led her to the bedroom- or rather to indicate where the bathing facility was. One of the things the bots hadn't been told explicitly to clean up was the bedroom so her blankets were still mussed from the morning bout of depression. But for all that it wasn't *too* untidy, and she'd done plenty of work on making the place comfortable since she was intending to live in it for several years. The bathroom wasn't spacious exactly but it had everything.

Zulian appraised it with a knowing eye. "Say, this is a lot nicer than what I've got. Take your time; I may be a few hours."

"Don't forget about dinner," Washu teased.

"Oh I won't. Just don't you get too wrapped up in your science and forget about me!" Ignoring the little hovering bot, Zulian grabbed Washu one more time for a kiss that quite took the scientist's breath away.

"Oh, I won't!" With a flush in her cheeks, Washu finally dragged herself away and followed the little bot down into the hold. It was as well she broke loose when she did; the aforementioned 'bad things' were in process of becoming imminent threats. It took some time to get it shut down properly and she decided to turn it off entirely. The compound she was aging was labor intensive and she'd already nearly missed the mixing deadlines twice before due to her depression. It was cured enough for some purposes so she stored it, double-checked it, and ran around quickly making sure there weren't any other impending disasters to worry about.

It didn't take hours; only about three-quarters of an hour. Even so she had gotten a bit distracted below, seeing some of her work through slightly altered eyes. The signs of her depression were easy to see in her sparse notations, missed check-ins, and improperly recorded results. She was sighing about how much work she'd have to re-do as she rode the quick-step back up to the living level.

"Well, I can promise we won't be exploding at least." There wasn't a response, and Zulian wasn't hanging out in the main living room. Washu stepped into her bedroom, realizing the freighter captain may not have been kidding about taking her time in the bath or shower. Washu froze at what she saw, eyes wide.

Zulian hadn't bothered to close the door between bedroom and bathroom and she had just stepped out of the stall. Her bare body was glistening with beads of water and she'd been using quite hot water judging by the haze of steam. There was a towel draped casually across her shoulders and, not realizing Washu had returned she was looking into the foggy mirror and rubbing at her hair with one side of the towel, humming to herself. Her coal-black hair had a tendency to be wavy when wet. In profile the woman's high cheekbones and pointed chin were very noticeable and she wore a dreamy half-smile as she worked at her hair.

Unable to keep herself from staring, Washu found her eyes traveling down. Zulian's strong shoulders held proudly with one arm raised to dry her hair, the woman's breasts jutted out and bounced slightly at the movement. She stood tall quite casually, back straight and hips cocked to the side so one long, smooth leg was bent at the knee. There were even a few scars marking that deeply tanned-looking skin but they did nothing to detract from the beauty on display.

When Zulian moved to switch sides with the towel she must have realized she was being watched finally, for she turned and blinked at Washu. Then she smiled warmly. "I would tease you for not knocking, but it *is* your ship." She made no move to cover up but she did begin to dry her body, starting with long arms and shoulders. It seemed she was either quite used to being seen naked or she was putting on a bit of a show, but to Washu's eyes the woman was totally relaxed, not exaggerating or hiding anything. "It's a shame you didn't finish up ten minutes earlier, you could have joined me. That isn't to say I wouldn't love to go back in, mind. You've a very nice setup here."

The scientist was still quite frozen, although she had managed to look away once or twice. When Zulian had all but finished, she walked out into the bedroom to where Washu was rooted to the floor. The beautiful naked woman approaching made her light-headed but she wouldn't- couldn't- move away.

Zulian, naturally, spotted the real reason for the light-headedness. With a bemused smile, she put a hand on Washu's stomach and pushed, forcing the stunned woman to inhale. "Great Space, Washu. Breathe, will you? I'm flattered and all but I'd rather you not pass out right in front of me."

"I'm sorry Zulian, I didn't mean to be rude," It wasn't really possible for her to get redder but she seemed to be trying. It almost seemed like all of the progress she'd made in relaxing had been wiped away and she was back to being a blushing virgin again. She even turned her head to the side to keep from staring more.

Zulian looked contrite and moved the towel from her shoulders to around her body. Thanks to her proportions it didn't quite cover her but the gap could be put on the side. Once that was done Zulian took Washu's hand, causing the blushing scientist to look back at her. "I'm the one who should apologize. Someone like me just doesn't have a grasp on the real meaning of 'a thousand years.' Of course I want you to see me, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Not uncomfortable…overwhelmed." Washu struggled a bit, trying to articulate even to herself what the difference was in this case. She also wondered if it mattered that it had been somewhat longer than a single millennium.

Zulian's blue eyes looked thoughtfully at Washu as she tried to make sense of the strength of the reaction she'd just had. Apparently the freighter captain decided it was time for a little more of her mind-reading. "You like the way I look?" Washu could only nod and drop her eyes again, feeling it was safe to do so because there was now a towel in place. Zulian still held Washu's hand in hers and she kept going in that same gentle voice. "Do you think you would like to touch me?"

Just the words shot such feeling through Washu that she nearly froze up again. The surprise of seeing that body on display had quickened her pulse and set off a number of other reactions that she was unconsciously fighting. One had to stay in control, one could not just give in to such urges, it wasn't allowed, wouldn't be welcome.

"Washu," Zulian's voice quivered slightly. She brought the scientist's hand up and placed it on her bare chest just above the towel; the freighter captain's heart was racing at a pace to rival Washu's own. "Do you understand that I would like nothing better than to have you touch me, in whatever way you want, in any way you are ready for? Can I make it very plain how much I want your hands on my skin? How much I want you to kiss me, right now?"

There was such naked hunger and wanting in Zulian's tone that Washu was finally able to look up again, lock eyes again, green eyes meeting bright blue. Her hand still rested on Zulian's sternum and that fast, hard beat-beat against her palm told the exact same story as those eyes and that voice. There was no deception, no holding back, no judgment. Just desire and acceptance.

Zulian, it seemed, was trying to leave the next move up to Washu but finding it difficult because she closed the distance between their bodies, pressing them together again with her hands at Washu's waist. Her voice had become a throaty whisper. "As much, as little, as fast, as hard, as slow, as soft as you want." Zulian's right hand slid upwards and caressed Washu's neck and cheek. "Earlier I asked if I could have you, now I'm telling you that you can have me." There was a slightly pleading look in those blue eyes, so very near. "Do you want me?" Zulian whispered.

Washu's paralysis broke as heat poured through her body at that soft question. "Oh yes," it was almost a groan, and she finally leaned in to capture Zulian's lips with her own. They had shared deep, passionate kisses before but this one was different; slower, more exploring. Washu's hand was trembling slightly as it slid from Zulian's chest to the slightly cooler skin of her bare shoulder and her other hand, hesitantly at first, settled on Zulian's side. Her fingertips found bare skin through the gap between the ends of the towel and after a slight pause, her hand slid further in to feel more.

Zulian's shiver was impossible to miss, and the indrawn breath didn't interrupt the kiss but enhanced it. As Washu moved to sweep questing fingertips along the curve of that delightfully bare breast Zulian's body rocked against hers and she gave an involuntary moan of pleasure.

All at once Washu realized what Zulian had been on about earlier; that cry was the most erotic sound she could imagine, sending a rush flooding through her. Suddenly the towel around Zulian was a hindrance and her own clothes, simple as they were, were in the way of what she wanted; to be as close to this woman as possible. The towel was easily dealt with and Washu's hands, trembling now for a different reason, tugged it out of the way so she could fill her senses with Zulian.

Though she'd never remember how it happened, and it didn't matter in the slightest, they crossed the short distance to the bed. Whatever unspoken promise Zulian had made to let Washu take charge was forgotten for the time it took to tug her shirt open, heedless of buttons, and the strong hands of the freighter captain fumbled at Washu's waistband. It was amazing that she was able to get the clasp open what with Washu doing everything she could to distract her with hands and fingers, lips and tongue.

Washu pushed gently on Zulian's shoulders so the woman lay back on the rumpled sheets, gazing up at the scientist standing at the edge of the bed. Washu's long-fingered hands finished the task of undressing herself; fabric whispering to the floor. Now that she was entirely naked as well, uncertainty draped itself around her instead of the confidence and desire of the previous second. The heat of the moment hadn't passed, still burned in her, but for that moment she was a little afraid again.

The woman on the bed looked up at her with bright blue eyes, a sort of stunned expression on her face. Her breasts rose and fell with the quick breaths their exertions caused. At first Washu wasn't sure what that expression meant and her uncertainty was attempting to convince her that it wasn't desire in those blue eyes. Zulian sat up without speaking and took Washu's hand again. As if she couldn't help herself, Zulian placed a kiss on the inside of Washu's wrist before pressing that hand to her bare chest again. To Washu, the kiss was like a shock and the feel of that racing pulse reassured her. This was wanted, *she* was wanted, and it was all right for her to act on this desire.

Gently Zulian guided Washu down onto the bed beside her and they began again, unfettered and unrushed. Washu may not think she knew how to proceed, but she could trust Zulian not to let her stumble for long. Indeed, the dark-haired woman led the way again without hesitation. They lay facing each other on their sides and Zulian let her hand slide over Washu's bare skin, pausing when she found a spot just at the hip that made muscles jump under her fingertips. Smiling playfully, Zulian passed a light touch over the place again and Washu shivered at the reactions that touch caused. Almost in self defense, she reached out to find the same place on Zulian and discovered with a slight look of disappointment that it didn't work quite the same on the freighter captain.

Zulian laughed softly. "You'll have to find something else," she said with a hint of a challenge in her voice. Raising herself up slightly so she could pin Washu with a kiss, Zulian gasped when she felt Washu's hand press firmly against her backside, then move farther down. "That'll do it, for starters," Zulian's grin widened at the slightly smug look on Washu's face.

It became a bit of a game then; Zulian and Washu both attempting to draw reactions from each other. Zulian had an unfair advantage but Washu gained confidence and got braver all the time. When she discovered quite by accident that Zulian was ticklish in places the game became something entirely different for a minute. Breathless with giggles after a brief tussle, Zulian was forced to flip Washu onto her back and pin her wrists next to her head while straddling her hips. Washu fought a little, but not seriously since the grip itself was pretty token. She gave up and looked at the lovely woman who was holding her.

They gazed at each other for a moment, the laughter fading from Zulian's face to be replaced by a hungry sort of look. Washu blushed at that, feeling the mood shift again but this time there was no fear at all. Without releasing her lover's trapped wrists, Zulian bent down for a very serious kiss, her breasts pressing against Washu's in a way that made the scientist moan softly into the kiss. With her apprehension all but gone, Washu felt like her body was on fire, needing something so much she wasn't sure she could stand to wait much longer. When the dark-haired woman began to make her way down Washu's body with lips and tongue, at first all she could do was react, her body shuddering from the sweet feeling.

There was something she wanted to do. It took several moments for her to remember what it was- Zulian was being *very* thorough now that she didn't have her hands busy. Washu realized she intended to keep going in that direction, resettling first with a knee between parted thighs and moving backwards, she put a hand on that dark hair, still damp from the shower or perhaps from the heat they generated between them. Likely both.

Zulian paused and looked up at the pink-haired woman, a question in those bright blue eyes. "Something you want, dear? I'm right in the middle of something, you know?" Her tone seemed quite serious, but there was a quirk to her dreamy smile.

"That's as may be," Washu managed to say, astounded that she could speak at all. "But I get a say in this too, right?" Noting their position and giving a little smile, the scientist brought both knees up, catching Zulian by the backside and shoving her up again until they were nearly nose to nose. A slight grab-and-roll maneuver later and Washu was half covering Zulian's body with her own. Their positions had been neatly reversed and Zulian gave a small gasp as it happened. This pleased Washu and she smiled triumphantly.

The freighter captain's hands still rested on Washu's sides but she shrugged as if to concede the point- somewhat. "I intend to pick up where I left off, just so you know. But I can't argue too much. It's your ship after all."

"Damn right, Captain." Washu's hand drifted down Zulian's body, tracing a line down the center until she found what she was looking for.

"Tha-hat's Zulian to you, Scien-tist." That touch nearly caused the dark-haired woman to stumble over her words and her eyes shut reflexively when Washu's questing fingers found her entirely ready. Further teasing words were entirely forgotten as the scientist began exploring.

Washu couldn't look away from her lover's face. Every expression, every sound; the way Zulian's head tossed when pressure was applied just there. Everything taught her something, and Washu was a fast learner, though she did take her time. She herself gasped when Zulian's fingernails dug hard into the skin of her lower back. It didn't seem like it should, but the pain fired Washu's zeal considerably.

"Damn it, Washu," Zulian moaned between breaths, gripping harder still, "I'm going to explode and kill us both if you don't stay put right there."

It was tempting to stop for just a moment and pretend confusion, taking the words literally, but the tension had already reached fever pitch. "Here? Like this?" Her tone was slightly teasing; the motions were not.

"Aahh!" Clearly that meant 'yes.' It seemed only moments later that Zulian's hips lifted and her body arched against Washu. Remembering the time earlier on the couch, she kept up and even quickened the pace until, with a cry, Zulian's body relaxed with a shudder. It took some little while for her to gather herself. When she did, she looked up with those bright blue eyes and a crooked smile while she stroked Washu's back, fingers finding the marks her nails had left. "You know, for someone who doesn't know what you're doing, you sure know what you're doing."

Washu ducked her head slightly, a touch embarrassed for some reason. The feeling of inexperience and uncertainty was something a woman of her years and accomplishment was not comfortable with, but there it was. "Again, I'm just glad not to disappoint."

"Disappoint? Not possible," Zulian said simply, pulling the blushing scientist down for a kiss and some whispered words, "Especially if you let me finish what I was working on earlier." With a deliberate slowness Zulian pressed forward, rolling Washu onto her back, then sitting up to gaze down at the pink-haired woman.

Washu's blush spread again to be studied like that but she lifted her chin slightly and smiled, if a bit shyly. "If you feel you must, though it's hardly necessary." Something about what she'd just done with Zulian had been very satisfying in its own way.

Zulian raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh really, Scientist? Well, if it's not necessary..." She grinned impishly down at Washu. Teasingly Zulian's hands drifted over Washu's body, eliciting a surprised gasp. "Then it'll just be for fun."

Washu's heart started racing again as Zulian, with a playfully determined look on her face, positioned herself over Washu. After a fairly serious kiss, the dark-haired woman began moving down Washu's body again, lips and tongue exploring as she went. Zulian paused to savor the texture and taste of the soft skin of Washu's breast, not to mention the reactions she got. Those blue eyes looked up at Washu as she stopped for a moment.

Washu's eyes opened, though she couldn't remember closing them, and she looked down her body at the beautiful woman smiling up at her. The scientist couldn't help smiling back. "Um, okay, now *something* is necessary." She was panting slightly with the full return of her body's need.

Zulian's smile turned smug. "And fun," she promised. Her progress downward continued and she parted Washu's thighs so she could get where she was going more smoothly, nestling herself between them. She kissed the spot on Washu's hip and made her jump, almost purring at the whimper this brought out.

For some ridiculous reason, Washu was getting nervous again. Zulian had made jokes about exploding a couple of times already, and if the scientist felt this keyed up right now, what would happen- "What about the food?" She said, suddenly remembering that they had soup on the stove.

"Screw the food, I'm busy!" Zulian growled at the possibility that she was going to be interrupted again. "And so are you."

Washu didn't have time for further protests as Zulian made it quite clear that she was going nowhere just now. The scientist's hands clutched at the rumpled sheets as sensation washed over her. She only had coherence enough to notice that lips, tongue, and fingers were involved before she was pushed over the edge of desire, lost in feeling only, no thinking possible. It wasn't an orgasm yet, though she could feel one building. And building. And building. Great Space, she might actually catch on fire if something didn't happen soon- Reflexively one hand let go of the sheet and moved to Zulian's head, not to stop her or help her, just wanting to touch. When another shock of pleasure ran through Washu her hand gripped at Zulian's hair. She felt and heard the pleased little sound that Zulian made and that did it.

Washu's moans became a strangled cry as she came, ecstasy washing through her in waves that seemed like they'd never stop. Her upper body bent like a bow drawn taut, her shoulders lifting off the bed as her head pressed back. By the time Zulian let up Washu felt entirely wrung out, sweetly exhausted.

Zulian, looking satisfied but not smug this time, raised herself up to look at her lover, propping herself up with an arm and tilting her head to the side. "See what happens when you let me get on with it?" She teased; her pink tongue visible briefly as she licked her lips.

"I see," Washu said a bit faintly, sitting up as well. Zulian took advantage of this to press in for a kiss and there was a not-Zulian taste there. She realized it must be her own- why she was surprised at it she would never know- but she was only thrown for an instant. There was something really good about the way the two of them mingled and if she weren't so wiped out it might have started some things up yet again.

Zulian laughed low. "So do I break you every time I get you off, or will this wear off after a while?"

Washu blushed again, realizing she must seem a little dazed, but she laughed as well. "We'll have to find out the hard way, I think."

"Oh yeah?" Zulian looked positively enthusiastic at the suggestion. Washu broke down into giggles at that expression. They shared another fiery kiss until Zulian reluctantly broke it off. "Why don't you take a shower while I check on dinner," she suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Washu agreed, though it took her a few moments to muster the energy- and the desire- to leave Zulian's side.

The dark-haired woman stayed on the bed an extra moment, watching with a fond smile as Washu headed to the bathing room.

Only a few minutes into her shower, Washu heard the bathroom door open, then was joined by Zulian in the very close quarters of the shower stall. Under the pounding of the hot water, she felt strong arms wrap possessively around her from behind. Zulian started kissing the side of her neck, seeming for all the world like she was ready to start right up again. "What about the food?" Washu said, her body already beginning to tingle again.

"It's just fine, love," Zulian breathed in Washu's ear. "We've even got some time yet."

Washu shivered. "Excellent."

The soup was quite tasty, if a trifle overcooked, when they got to it some little time later.


	5. First Causes pt 1

First Causes

Pt 1

Zulian lay back with her fingers laced behind her head in the dimly lit bedroom, her sleepy gaze not quite focused on the bulkhead above her. Washu was below in the hold, doing science of some kind or another, though she'd promised to come right back. That had been nearly an hour ago, but Zulian didn't mind much. Sure it would be great to fall asleep together, but it would be just as nice to wake up to find her there.

"How lucky can I get?" She mused out loud to herself and smiled. Pretty damn lucky, she answered herself. At first it had been pure attraction and curiosity, but the reality was even better than she had imagined. This gorgeous bundle of contradictions and mysteries was someone she could really fall for- and truth be told, had already fallen for. If the freighter captain weren't such a rover, she'd be content to follow this lady wherever she went and stay with her wherever she settled. There were a few problems with that, of course, but Zulian didn't intend to bring them up. Washu was sharp, every bit the genius she was reputed to be, so she would surely figure them out eventually. Zulian's smooth brow furrowed briefly but she decided not to worry about it too much just now.

Regardless, it was shaping up to be a hell of a vacation.

Rolling onto her side into the middle of the large bed, Zulian nestled into the sheets that were still in disarray from their after-dinner activities. She grinned at the memory. Great Space that woman learned fast, and immediately put into practice what she'd learned. The 'handful' comment she'd made earlier was a bit of an understatement. There was still that bit of hesitation, though; not just a lack of confidence or awareness or anything like that.

Zulian had a few theories, naturally. During the interminable months waiting for the chance to chase Washu down, Zulian had done what research she could on the woman. Professor Hakubi was a legend after all, so one would think there would be plenty of information. And there was, of sorts. Her professional accomplishments were unmatched, and the work she and her colleagues had done turning the Galaxy Science Academy into the most prestigious center of learning in the known universe couldn't be denied.

But of the woman herself? Almost nothing. Of the reason she hid herself in the body of a pre-adolescent for the last several thousand years? Absolutely nothing. So little, in fact, that it was clear that any mention of *anything* related to it had been deliberately expunged by someone with a lot of influence. And oddly, Zulian didn't think it was Washu's doing. There didn't appear to be a reason for Zulian to pry just yet although she suspected the time would come when it would have to be done, for the scientist's own sake.

The dark-haired woman must have fallen asleep while pondering her enigmatic hostess because she woke when she felt the bed move behind her. Washu was obviously trying not to wake her but it was difficult to crawl into the sheets sneaky-like the way Zulian had taken over the middle of the bed. Which was why she'd done it like that.

"Hmm, any more disasters narrowly averted?" Zulian teased as she slid over to make room. She also turned over to face Washu, propping herself up on an elbow. The simple tunic-like shirt she slept in had a low v-neck and exposed rather a lot of skin. She noticed Washu noticing this fact and she suppressed a grin.

Washu smiled ruefully as she stretched out on the bed with obvious relief at the chance to rest. "Nothing like that- this time. Just taking care of some things I'd skipped over the last few days."

Zulian studied her for a second, then smiled. "So it wasn't just my visit that threw you off?" Casually she lay down beside the pink-haired woman and draped an arm across her middle. It wasn't her intention to start anything; it had been a busy day. It was just too nice to be close, and a shame not to be touching.

Washu shook her head, looking up at the ceiling in much the same way Zulian had done earlier. After a moment's pause, she slid an arm under Zulian's head so they were cuddled even closer. This drew a sigh of contentment out of the dark-haired woman and she relaxed further. She didn't think the scientist was going to continue talking, but she was pleased that she carried on with an explanation.

"I've been out of sorts for the past few weeks. Bored, or depressed, or…" Washu sighed. "Whatever it is, I'm happy to be taking a break from it." There was a long pause. "I'm glad you came to find me when you did, Zulian."

Zulian could hear something in those words, something she couldn't quite pinpoint. "You weren't thinking of doing anything foolish, were you?"

"Not deliberately, but who knows what would have happened…" She faltered. "Something I was working on might have gone wrong and I'm not sure I would have cared enough to do anything about it."

Zulian's eyes went wide. "Good grief, Washu. That bad?"

"Maybe, maybe not." Washu sighed again. "Maybe I should have stayed short, not let that kid get to me like that. Or gone back after…" The words stopped coming and there was a moment of silence.

"After I left?" Zulian filled in for her. It occurred to the freighter captain that she might be somewhat to blame for what Washu had gone through and she winced internally. "I didn't mean to tease you, flitting in and right back out again."

The scientist shrugged, the movement shifting them both slightly. "It wasn't that, not exactly." Her next words had a sort of bitter humor. "I'd forgotten that actions have consequences, that's all. Get ticked off at a punk kid salesman and destroy my own psyche wasn't a cause-effect I was prepared for, that was for sure."

For once Zulian didn't quite know how to respond. Whatever wound had been re-opened that day in the shipyard was deep, even dozens of centuries later. It had all the signs of a broken heart, but something more than that. Since she didn't have any words to offer that weren't more questions, she sat up and changed their position, deciding it should be Washu in the embrace instead.

Washu didn't resist when Zulian took her in her arms and laid them both back down. The unusual spiky hair didn't get in the way all that much as she settled her cheek against Washu's forehead. In doing so, she finally came up with something to say. "I'm glad I found you period." It seemed inadequate, but it was true.

There was a shuddering indrawn breath from the woman in her arms. For a moment Zulian thought it might be tears but Washu didn't weep. 'Still holding back,' Zulian thought. But there was time. For the time being she just held on, offering what comfort she could.

"How do you keep doing that?" Washu's voice came quietly in the darkness.

"Hmm? Doing what?"

"Figuring out what I need without asking. Are you sure you're not a mind-reader?" There were such people in the galaxy, after all.

Zulian chuckled softly. "Definitely not reading minds, thank goodness, or my shipmates would make me a basket case. You, though…" It was her turn to shrug. "Even with all your mysteries it's not hard to figure out." She smiled then. "And it's like you don't believe me about my education. It wasn't at the Galactic Academy but I really did go to school to learn about people. I even graduated."

Washu tipped her head back to look up at Zulian. "Did you go to school to become a therapist? Because you're very good." There was a defensive tone there, but the dark-haired woman took it in good part.

"No, I went to school to be a better captain." At Washu's questioning look, Zulian elaborated. "Let's just say my first voyage went badly because I wasn't very good at dealing with or reading people. I studied and got better at it. Now I have people I can trust who know they can trust me. It makes years in space go by much more smoothly."

Washu settled back down, her head resting in the hollow of Zulian's shoulder. "I wonder where they are. Your crew, I mean."

"Half-way to Prime Ceti if they know what's good for them," Zulian said with a mock growl. "I heard Kel making noises about hitting dirt and I wanted her to get a taste of command before she made any rash decisions." Not that Zulian had any plans to retire in the next decade or more, but the opportunity to make a run to Washu's position was too good to pass up. Now she just had to deal with the fact that the stout woman would probably be insufferable when she got knocked back to second in command. Or not. Kel wasn't that kind.

Washu swallowed, the sound just audible in the quiet room. "So…how long do you have set aside for this vacation of yours?"

"That depends, dear Washu, on you." Zulian used a finger to tip Washu's face up to look at her. "You can be rid of me in two weeks if we stay put here; my ship will be passing through this sector around then. Faster, if I really get in the way. Or," her thumb smoothed a stray hair back from Washu's face, "we can meet up with the others at that third place on your schedule, that little twin planet system." She watched Washu do the math; it would have been too fast to see if they hadn't had such a long day.

The scientist seemed to brighten when she realized that made it a six-week vacation. "I think I can stand you for that long," she said with an arch look.

Zulian grinned at the tease. "Good deal, although I won't hold you to it. You just give me a little warning before you drop me off if I get *too* annoying. At least let me get in my gig, you know? Or at least a suit." Washu laughed at that and Zulian kissed her smiling lips, unable to pass up the opportunity. It went on for several moments but when it ended they both settled back down. Some tension had gone out of the woman in Zulian's arms and sleep came to claim them both a short while later.

It was only an hour or so later when Zulian woke up, dragged from sleep by a strange sound. They had drifted into their individual spaces but the noise and the movement were too disturbing to ignore. She lay in the darkness for a moment, trying to figure it out. Eventually her sleep-addled brain got it: it was the way Washu was breathing. Short, shallow, as if she were running from something. The woman was curled on her side with her back to Zulian, apparently lost in some nightmare.

Somewhat alarmed, Zulian put a hand on Washu's shoulder. Her muscles were locked tight and she didn't wake at the touch. Zulian frowned, brushing sweat-dampened hair back but still the woman didn't wake, and seemed like she actually couldn't. Sighing, Zulian did the only thing she could think of and put an arm around her sleeping lover. Whatever was happening in that dream must be awful, but being jerked out of it unnaturally could be just as bad, something Zulian knew from experience. Her own nightmares tended to be pretty mundane; enactments of her worst fears for her ship and crew, peppered with the odd monster attack. The random firings of a sleeping mind working with imagery and thought patterns established during waking hours; nothing more, nothing less.

It was when Washu started weeping that Zulian regretted letting her pass through it on her own. Maybe she should wake her after all… but even the heartbroken sobs didn't seem to break into Washu's tortured sleep. All Zulian could do was hold on, gathering the crying woman into her arms and crooning to her as if to a child. When Washu's hands came up to clutch at Zulian's arms it seemed sure the woman had woken up at last but no; she was babbling nonsense and the tears were running from tightly closed eyes. She was begging someone for something, that was clear from the tone of the nonsense.

In time the pleading stopped and it was clear that Washu had lost whatever battle she was fighting. The whole thing tore at Zulian; she didn't have the slightest clue what was going on but it seemed like she'd never been in the presence of such sadness. Finally, finally, sleep became deep again for the scientist and the tension in her fell away, but it was some time before Zulian could join her, worrying about the sort of thing that could bring such anguish into a sleeping mind but leave the waking world virtually untouched. But no, not untouched considering Washu's description of her depression earlier. But maybe it was just one of those dreams; inexplicable sadness had taken Zulian in her dreams before. They were the sort of dreams that would stay with one for days but generally meant nothing sinister. Maybe…

When Zulian woke in the ship's version of morning Washu was already up, and apparently making breakfast. The dark haired woman stretched languorously on the bed, trying to work out a kink in her neck from the awkward position she'd spent most of the night in. She sat up just in time for Washu to come in, still in just a long button-down nightshirt, carrying a tray with food and coffee on it.

"Ah, you are awake. Look! Food!"

Washu's whole demeanor was so cheerful that Zulian looked at her quizzically. "You're pretty chipper for someone who had as restless a night as you did. Are you alright?"

The tray was carefully deposited on the bed and Washu sat down next to Zulian, looking confused. "Restless? I slept fine. Better than usual, in fact."

"Really?" Zulian's eyebrow rose.

Now Washu looked worried. "I wasn't talking in my sleep, was I? Did I snore?"

"You truly don't remember?"

"Remember what? Zu, you're spooking me a little."

Zulian gave a shrug, smiling slightly at the nickname. "You were dreaming, that's all. If you don't remember it then it probably won't affect you." She didn't believe that for a moment but she also didn't think now was the time to pursue it. After all, maybe it really was just one of those things.

Washu's brow furrowed and she had a sort of arrested look. "I don't think I was dreaming, I mean I don't remember it. And I wouldn't think it would be enough to disturb you even if I was…"

Zulian nudged her with a shoulder as she took one of the steaming mugs of coffee and sipped at it. "Love, how long has it been since you've had another body in your bed to tell you these things? And you don't really have to answer that."

Washu grinned, apparently relieved to change the subject. "Good, because I honestly can't remember. When you've been around as long as I have it's safer to forget things like that."

"I can only imagine," Zulian said with a hint of irony in her tone as she put the cup back on the tray. She reached out and ruffled Washu's pink spiky hair, the touch turning into a caress. "Or is that gorgeous brain of yours just really good at ignoring things?"

"Both, probably," Washu said, a deliberately careless expression on her face. "Either way, we don't have to talk about it right now do we?"

"Indeed we don't," Zulian almost purred; her caressing hand had begun to wander and she vaguely regretted the tray with the food taking up space on the bed. Despite being short on sleep- or perhaps because of it- she was finding it all too easy to be distracted. Washu looked very charming slightly disheveled and dressed like that. Honestly, how was she supposed to resist?

Washu certainly wasn't resisting; she leaned into Zulian's touch then drew in a quick breath when the freighter captain got bolder and slipped a hand into that invitingly loose shirt to touch smooth bare skin. "What about breakfast?"

"It's lovely, dear, thank you," Zulian said, her blue eyes dancing with mischief as she pulled Washu close for a very serious kiss. "And it will still be right there if we're very careful."

Washu's breath was already coming faster. "Or I can move it," she offered.

"Going to prove to me that you've got *lots* of energy from your good night's sleep?" Of course Zulian was teasing, but she also thought that morning lovemaking was an excellent treatment for night terrors. In her opinion it was a cure for many things. She slid her other hand under Washu's shirt and got another gasp of pleasure.

"Oh you'll see," Washu said with a playfully determined look. She firmly stepped away from Zulian's reach long enough to pick up the tray.

Zulian watched the scientist turn to set it on a little side table a safe distance away. When her back was turned, Zulian resettled herself on the bed, spreading into the space the tray had just occupied and assuming an inviting posture. The slightly startled look on Washu's face when she turned back was absolutely adorable of course. "So show me," Zulian challenged.

Washu didn't speak, and after only a half-moment's hesitation, she joined her lover on the bed. It pleased Zulian to note that those moments of hesitation were becoming shorter and fewer, but she didn't have much time to ponder that because the scientist practically pounced on her with a fierce and insistent kiss. Surprised, Zulian did her best to follow along with whatever Washu had in mind.

At first it was just convenient for Washu's knee to park between Zulian's thighs but soon that wasn't enough. Zulian felt Washu pause in her greedy touching to change position. Zulian got drawn into sitting up and instinctively wrapped both legs around Washu's body. This drew a pleased sound from the woman but again it wasn't enough for long. When she all but lifted Zulian up and pressed her back against the headboard of the bed it dawned on the freighter captain that Washu was a good deal stronger than she looked. This added a rather exciting edge to the moment.

When Washu got tired of being inhibited by Zulian's shirt she started fumbling at the buttons. Zulian moved to help but Washu pushed her hands away. The same thing happened when she tried to open the scientist's shirt. Somewhat bemused but flushed with desire, Zulian surrendered willingly and when her chest was exposed and Washu bent to taste first one firm nipple then the other, Zulian sighed blissfully, her body racing with the feeling and arching into the touch. "I'm all yours, love," she moaned, looking down, "all yours."

Washu's green eyes looked up to meet Zulian's gaze but she only paused for a brief second. In the next instant Zulian was again being pressed against the headboard with Washu's lips on hers, and the scientist was reaching down, seeking and pressing. They both gasped when it became clear just how ready Zulian was and it seemed to spur Washu on. With no hesitation at all, two of Washu's long fingers thrust up into Zulian who cried out her pleasure. After a moment of adjustment Zulian was pulled away from the headboard and laid down. Washu's body and breasts pressed down and began to rock against her, seemingly to help with the pressing in and retreating, over and over again.

It was insanely intense; Zulian didn't even know Washu was capable of *taking* her like this- the freighter captain was blown away by the pleasure. Her body shuddered as she hit a peak and tumbled over, clutching at Washu with a shout, but the scientist didn't stop. She slowed, changed an angle or two and began again. Zulian could stand it no longer and reached for her lover. Washu gave a low groan but did not interfere this time. Her rhythm temporarily broken by the new sensation, propped up on an elbow, Washu's vivid green eyes focused on Zulian's flushed face.

Zulian kissed her and whispered again. "All yours."

Washu shivered but a slow smile came over her, softening the intense almost grim expression of earlier. "Mine." She shivered again at what Zulian was doing but she picked up the rhythm again. It was different this time; no less intense but less…singular. A few minutes later they came together, not with shouts but with sighs and whispers and there was nothing sweeter.

Afterwards they lay together for long minutes in the quiet. "That- You were…"

It was Washu's turn to laugh. "Oh, you can be broken like that too?"

"Looks that way," Zulian said with a grin, a little abashed. "You never stop surprising me, Washu love."

The scientist's brow furrowed slightly. "You're awfully free with that word, Zulian."

She didn't have to ask which word was under discussion. "You assume I'm not being sincere?"

"You barely know me."

"What does that have to do with it? Why should I wait?" What she thought but did not say was that not everyone had forever for such things. Zulian put an arm around Washu and held her close. "Anyway, you're not obligated to do or say anything. If you think about it, the fact that I love you is really none of your business."

Washu looked at Zulian with a bemused smile. "You are the strangest woman I've ever met."

Zulian's smile was smug and her bright blue eyes held a spark of laughter. "Good." She looked off to the side. "What did you bring for breakfast, anyway? I'm suddenly starving."

"Come into the kitchen and find out," Washu teased. She gave Zulian a quick kiss, then got up and picked up the tray. "You'll have to leave the bed sometime."

"Damn," Zulian muttered with fake anger. Still, she enjoyed the view as the gorgeous scientist walked out with the tray. The dark haired woman did hop out of bed then, half-heartedly straightening the sheets before dashing for a shower.

The day passed so comfortably and easily that any worries Zulian had about the nightmare faded into the background. They ate and chatted, Washu went into the hold to do some work while Zulian stayed above either relaxing with a vid or a book or taking care of little bits of business. She sent a message to her ship to let them know she intended to stay with Washu for the whole six weeks and to keep her up to date on their situation. It would probably be a full day until she heard back, space being as big as it was, but she wasn't too concerned.

They didn't make love again that day and their sleep at night was uninterrupted. Zulian woke to find a Washu very much in the mood to play, which was fine with her. It was hard not to be a little smug about the whole thing; watching Washu go from hesitant to demanding was such fun. As charming as the initial steps had been, the woman had returned to what Zulian figured she was meant to be- loving, demanding, giving, and bold. And entirely grown-up.

Still, Zulian did a little regretful sighing when Washu wasn't in earshot. Lucky indeed to have found such a person at all, but time was so short. In more ways than one.

The first half of the six weeks passed in a sort of blur of domestic bliss. They learned to move around each other with ease, and sliding from work and talk into sex and lovemaking and back out again became so natural that Zulian almost began to believe in fate. Almost.

There were still nightmares. Every few days Washu's nights were broken with weeping and pleading and loss but in the morning she remembered none of it. Those mornings the scientist was always fierce and possessive, placated and satisfied only by Zulian's complete surrender. Surrender she was more than willing to give, but the time was fast approaching when Washu would be on her own again. Zulian hadn't forgotten their little conversation that first night and she didn't plan to have her leave-taking send this amazing woman back into despair if she could help it.

Zulian forced herself to bring up the issue on the first day of her fourth week on the vessel. Washu had just come up from the hold with a contented smile and helped herself to the food prepared and left out for her. A few minutes later she joined Zulian on the comfortable sofa, laying back with her head in Zulian's lap. Most of Zulian's dark hair was pulled into a twist at the back of her head but a few stray locks had broken loose and Washu's hand came up to smooth them back with a sweet smile.

It was almost enough to make Zulian put it off again, this conversation that would surely stir up the peaceful ways they'd settled into, but it couldn't be left too much longer or they'd both suffer far worse for it.

Something must have shown on her face for Washu reached up again and smoothed a thumb across Zulian's brow. "You look awfully serious, is everything alright?"

Zulian smiled briefly. "I should be asking *you* that. Dreaming is normal but what you do isn't quite right in my opinion. If that was happening while you were alone it's no wonder you were flying apart."

Washu frowned and looked away. "You're on about that again? I told you, I don't remember dreaming anything bad and I've been sleeping just fine since-"

"Since I showed up?" Zulian could feel the tension growing in Washu and she stroked her arm to try and keep her calm. "You do sleep like a rock, I can testify to that when even your own crying doesn't wake you, but I sleep light. It happened twice last week, three times the week before. I hold on to you until it passes, but I don't know what will happen when I'm not around anymore."

All of this was news to Washu, judging by the shock on her face as she sat up. Her face was turning red with either embarrassment or anger, it was hard to tell. "I- You say I've been crying?"

Zulian watched her try to keep her expression neutral. "Yes, and begging, and sometimes it's like you're running or hiding. But they always find you, don't they?"

Washu drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, refusing to look at Zulian. The withdrawal and denial poses were so textbook that they'd be mildly amusing if she didn't care so much about this woman. "Back when I had those dreams, yeah, they always found me. But I'm telling you, I don't remember dreaming that lately. Just the one time before I left-" She stopped and shook her head.

It was odd to Zulian that Washu was insisting so strongly that the dreams weren't really happening. She was all but calling Zulian a liar but not realizing it. Something strange was happening here. This seemed finally like the right time to ask an important question. "Washu, I want you to tell me why you looked like a child when I first met you."

Washu shot her a sideways glance that was almost angry. "You never asked that before."

"I didn't think it was important for me to know before. I've changed my mind." Zulian was prepared to insist if Washu got stubborn and her sharp blue eyes held Washu's gaze without any hint of backing down. Washu's green eyes dropped first and her body slumped in defeat. The look tore at Zulian's heart but she kept her face as calm as she could; this is why it's a poor idea to treat loved ones like patients, but it wasn't as if a third party was available. She watched Washu struggle for words that wouldn't come.

"Washu, who are you trying to protect in the dream?" Zulian asked gently.

"My son, my baby boy." Still hugging her knees, Washu was staring out at nothing and her voice was too calm, but if that's what it took to get through, Zulian didn't intend to object.

"Who took your son?"

"They did- and *he* did." There was venom in her tone, momentarily displacing the deadness of before. But it wasn't hate on Washu's face. Zulian gave Washu a moment and she clarified without prompting. "My husband and his family."

"Kidnapped?" She meant the question as neutrally as she could manage.

"Oh no, it was all nice and legal," Washu said with a snarl in her tone. "They're the ones who make the laws, after all. If they don't want some commoner *breeding* with one of their precious bloodline they just make it all go away."

How in any universe Washu Hakubi counted as a commoner was a mystery to Zulian but it suddenly made that moment at the launch party make more sense. Kel with her stories of Seniwan noble kids, the well-known attitude of the powerful families… "And your husband?"

"Walked away. He took our son out of my arms… My boy…He looked just like his father, you know?" The tears that had threatened finally spilled over Washu's lashes. "I was so pleased that he looked like his daddy… not like me. Maybe- if he'd looked like me, maybe I could have held him a little longer." Washu started to cry in earnest and Zulian gathered her into a hug.

Zulian's own eyes were stinging as she held her crying love. The nonsense crooning that always came so naturally in these situations seemed woefully inadequate. And this grief was so sharp, not blunted by time at all. Had this woman never given herself a moment to deal with it? No, Zulian could see that she hadn't, and it was absolutely possible for a will like that. Dangerous and hurtful in the long run, but possible.

When the first storm of weeping faded into hitching breaths and sniffles Zulian thought she should just let it go for now. Let her recover, have a quiet dinner, then sleep. She'd been through enough for now, surely. But she knew better. And to be perfectly honest, Zulian had some selfish reasons for wanting Washu to learn to get through this, to come out on the other side.

"So you were left alone," Zulian stated it calmly, prompting Washu to finish answering the original question.

Washu sniffled and nodded. She'd gone back to laying across Zulian's lap but curled on her side so she could look out into nothing. "He promised he never would, but he did." She drew a ragged breath. "Didn't just leave, took everything with him. Couldn't even leave me a damn picture." A shudder ran through her at some memory.

"And you changed."

"After about a week. I couldn't stand it. He sent me one last note, full of bullshit about children not being able to understand about things like social status, and he didn't want our son- my son- to grow up without the advantages of his *good* blood. Because mine wasn't good enough, only not in so many words." Bitterness flowed through her voice. "A-and if his family was constantly reminded that he was m-my son he'd be c-cast out." She struggled for breath, for control, for a full minute. "So I thought…I'll be the child who doesn't understand."

Zulian stroked her cheek. "Didn't anyone try and talk you out of it?"

Washu laughed bitterly. "There wasn't anyone. I tried so hard to be good enough for him and his family, to know only people good enough for them that there was no one at all when he- when they went away."

"Ah." Zulian's eyes closed briefly with understanding.

The scientist scrubbed at her face, trying to clear away the tear streaks. "It was such a relief at first- I knew why people were looking at me funny, and explaining to the school that it was none of their damn business what I looked like and why took my mind off- everything. Getting students to listen to me anyway became an end in itself."

Zulian thought that Washu was exhausted, ready to be done. But a dam had broken inside her and there were more thoughts behind it. Zulian just held on and let the woman talk. Eventually words dried up and Washu was silent for a while. When she spoke again, it was in an entirely strange tone; the tone of someone making a joke to lighten a grim moment, but the words- "So, did putting me through that satisfy your professional curiosity?"

Zulian felt like she'd just been slapped. She was speechless for a moment and a hot flush of hurt passed through her. "I hope you don't mean that the way it sounded, Washu."

The scientist didn't answer right away. "How did it sound?"

"Tell me you don't really think I put you through this, as you say, for my own amusement."

"Or a case study."

"What?"

Washu sat up, pulling away from Zulian. "Hey, tell me you haven't been analyzing me the whole time and I'll believe you. Tell me that you aren't using your 'education' on me-"

Zulian would rather have been stabbed than hear these words. "Please stop."

"Stop?" Tears were falling again but Washu looked angry. "You pushed me to go back through the worst time in my miserable life but we're not allowed to talk about what *you* get out of it?"

Blue eyes flashing, Zulian stood up. "What do you think I get out of it?"

Washu stared up at her for a moment. "How should I know? You're the therapist here, I'm just the hapless patient. Maybe you're planning to publish something about the psychological anomaly you picked up in a shipyard one time."

Zulian stepped back as if struck, her vision blurring. "I- I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. You are hurting and you want to make someone bleed and I'm the only one you can reach-"

"Still analyzing-"

"-Well you managed it." Zulian spoke over Washu, not wanting to hear any more. "I told you why I got the education I did. If you really doubt my motives, you could always do a little research- you do remember how, right?" Zulian took a breath and tried to calm herself. Striking back wouldn't do any good. "And when you do, and you remember this conversation, you can decide what I might get out of helping the woman I love get through something before she self-destructs." She turned away but there weren't many places to go in a ship this small. Getting into her tiny runabout wasn't an option- it would be like truly running away and as hurt as she was, she didn't want to give up.

There was a second sleeping chamber that they had all but ignored so she went there, closing the door tightly behind her. It was smaller, and felt very much unused, but it was quiet and private and there was a place to curl up.

She felt like such a coward retreating like this, but those words cut like knives. If Washu had been a stranger it would have been better to stick it out, walk her through the hurt and point out what it was really about. But this wasn't a stranger, and there was no question in Zulian's mind of her own feelings even if she had no proof that Washu felt the same. To have the woman question her motives, accuse her... rightly, in a way... of 'treating' her... but what was she supposed to do? Pretend she didn't see the danger, and act surprised when the worst happened? Zulian had been surprised once already, and she'd sworn never to let it happen again.

By the time she'd cried herself out and emerged it was very late. The rest of the ship was silent but Washu's bedroom was open and dark. So the scientist had gone to bed. Good. Any professional knows that sleep is an important tool for recovering from grief...

"Stop it," Zulian admonished herself and went to make coffee. She too was exhausted but the chance existed that if she went in to sleep beside Washu that she'd be asked to leave and that would finish her. While she sipped the hot liquid she accused herself of dramatic hyperbole but damn it, she wasn't a machine.

Zulian spent some time sitting on the sofa right where she'd been a couple hours previous, doing her best not to think about anything. A familiar sound intruded on the silence, the same sound that woke Zulian in the dark every few nights since she'd come on board. She closed her eyes. Of course. Stirring up all that old pain would echo.

She put down her coffee and walked silently to the bedroom. Washu had her back to the door, breathing in that short almost panicky rhythm. Zulian stood, frozen with indecision, but only for a moment. The scientist never woke up during these dreams, and there was no indication that Zulian's presence was any help at all; but since it was all she could do, she'd do it as long as she was allowed. Lying down behind Washu, Zulian put an arm around her and listened to the nightmare mutterings. Now that she knew what was behind them they made more sense and were even more heartbreaking.

The tremors passed and the dream let go of its victim. It took some little time for Zulian to force herself to let go. She did, standing as carefully as she could so that she wouldn't disturb the real sleep that was so desperately needed. Zulian did not resist placing a soft kiss on Washu's cheek, flushed with the toll the dream had taken. Before she left the room though, Zulian turned back and spoke quietly into the darkness.

"I'm sorry I pushed you, but I don't have the luxury of time." She swallowed hard and her hand clutched at the door frame. "Please don't stay angry with me for long." Zulian walked away after that one selfish request, heading back to the smaller sleeping quarters, her coffee forgotten on the little table.


	6. First Aid

First Aid

Washu watched Zulian storm into the spare bedroom with a mixture of anger and shame. Roughly she wiped at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Why? Why had Zulian done that to her? Things had been just fine, they'd been happy. Were a few bad dreams worth ruining what they had together?

And why had she said those things to Zulian? The shock and hurt in those blue eyes- Washu tried to shake it off. If the woman had just left things alone, hadn't had to poke and prod for no damn reason… Washu folded in on herself, burying her face in her hands. It was all too much. What was she supposed to do now?

Trembling, Washu stood up and looked around. There was too much Zulian around here, and it was mixing painfully with the memories so recently dragged up. Washu rode the quick-step down to the hold where she could surround herself with science but it didn't do any good. She sat at her console, staring at a blank screen. For the past few weeks she'd managed to straighten things up to a point where work was actually a pleasure again but it gave her no comfort now.

Tears came again, though surely she should have run out by now. "She had *no* right," Washu couldn't help but speak aloud down here. Her anger was too great to keep silent. "I was fine, for thousands of years! I never needed…" her throat closed and she couldn't keep speaking though her thoughts didn't stop. For nearly an hour she rattled around in the lab, her fury just barely covering over the grief she was still desperate not to face. Sometimes the words in her head were so loud she was certain that she was shouting but the quiet of the hold was mostly unbroken.

She sat at her console again, so sick of the loop she was stuck in that she wanted to start screaming and never stop. The screen was still blank. Against her will, she heard Zulian's voice- Washu's mind had added a spiteful tone- challenging her to do some research. What would be the point of that? As if there was any excuse for what she'd done…

Again Washu dashed tears from her eyes. That's what really hurt, she told herself. That…woman…Zulian…had lulled her into thinking that she was safe, that she was loved, and then threw her into the deep abyss…and then had walked away like she was the injured one when... No, she refused to think about it any further. What she needed was sleep. Alone. For all she knew it was having someone invading her space that was causing those dreams *if* they were even happening.

Even so, heading back to the too-quiet and too-empty living level left her feeling far worse, and that shouldn't even be possible. There was a closed door that drew her eye but she refused to think about it- or tried to. Instead she simply crawled into bed and lay there, an arm draped over her forehead. "Damn." She muttered. "Damn, damn, damn."

It seemed like hours before she could make her mind shut up enough to allow sleep to take hold. Nothing seemed to work until she started reciting the elements in order, including atomic weights. That did some good at last; by the time she reached the rarest elements for the third time sleep overtook her.

Washu woke as normally as she usually did but already she could feel that strange restlessness. A sort of shock went through her when she realized Zulian wasn't beside her, and another when she remembered the little talk they'd had the night before. Mechanically Washu got ready for the day, trying to ignore the restlessness. Admittedly she was dawdling, trying to delay the moment when she'd have to go out and face Zulian.

When she did, she found the other woman up and dressed, standing at the counter in the kitchenette drinking coffee. "Good morning, Scientist."

"Captain," Washu returned the greeting uncertainly.

"I won't ask you how you slept," Zulian said, "but I can offer you some stimulant." To be sure there was no ambiguity she gestured at the coffee ready to be poured.

"Yes please," Still not sure how to act, Washu stepped up to do it herself but Zulian beat her to it, handing her a steaming mug. She stared into its depths for a moment while the silence drew out. "Can I ask how well *you* slept?"

"I don't see why not," Zulian answered amiably. No one said anything for a moment.

A little exasperated, Washu asked. "How did you sleep?"

"I'll let you know after it happens."

"That's not good for you, you know."

"Tell me about it." Zulian smiled and the lack of sleep became less visible in her face. "But I'll survive for a while longer."

Washu raised an eyebrow at this but didn't comment. Her fingers drummed nervously on the counter. Wasn't there something she should be doing? The restlessness didn't usually last this long. Maybe it was time to get busy with something, that would calm her down. "I have work to do," she said abruptly. "Thanks for the coffee." She turned on her heel and walked through the living area, riding the quickstep down to the hold. A quiet curse escaped her as the hot coffee splashed across her hand at the bottom.

She rattled around down in the hold for several hours, trying to take care of business and managing, more or less. But it didn't help. The whole time she was thinking she should do something else but whatever she moved on to next wasn't ever it. For the first time in forever she kept tripping over thoughts of what her life had been like back then- a man she had loved desperately, a child who was very much wanted by them both- and then they were gone.

He had been a sweet child from the very beginning, already showing signs of curiosity and wonder. How could he not, with parents like them? She'd held him for such a short time. His father, that traitorous swine, plucked her boy directly out of her arms. In public, so she couldn't make a scene. As if *she* cared about dignity at that point, they were stealing her life from her. But she didn't want him to start crying. And he didn't, that sweet boy didn't know that he'd never see his mother again, so he didn't cry, just waved his little arms happily. It was his newest skill. And she'd never seen him learn another.

Angry all over again, Washu dashed tears from her eyes. She stared at the blank screen, trying to remember what she had been about to do but couldn't. Zulian's taunt about remembering how to do research recurred in her mind and she clenched her jaw. Irritated, Washu typed in Zulian's name and the name of her ship, requesting a search of all available net sources. The screen politely informed her that the information would be available as soon as the signal got through; the planetary system they were in was remote and the primary was causing interference. "Fine," Washu sniped at the uncaring screen. "Get back to me whenever you feel like it."

But thinking of Zulian got her angry again, and the restlessness she'd been fighting all day came back in full force. "Like I don't have enough to deal with!" Washu's muttering was getting on her own nerves. She needed a drink.

Frustrated, Washu went back up to the living level. Zulian was sitting on the sofa, reading something on a digital pad. She looked up at Washu briefly when she was lifted into sight, then dropped her eyes back to her book. "Rough day?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Washu all but stomped into the kitchen and reached for a bottle of wine, splashing some into a glass, drinking it, then refilling it.

"Color me surprised."

Washu noted with irritation that Zulian was apparently a talented multitasker, able to zing her at will without interrupting her reading. "Alright Miss Smart-Mouth, is this you angling for another therapy session? Because I'm not in the mood."

"I guessed that you're not in the mood to talk when you said 'I don't want to talk about it.'" Zulian pressed a button to turn the page. "Time will tell, of course. But when you figure out what you're in the mood for, remember that I'm game if you are."

"Whatever that means." Washu drained her glass again. A third refill seemed a bad idea so she went to sit down herself, picking up a pad and stylus from a cupboard so she could make some notes. Zulian's position left plenty of room next to her on the couch but Washu chose the chair across from her, figuring it would be less distracting. There was still resentment and anger popping in Washu's brain, and she couldn't tell at all if Zulian was mad or not, which sort of made things worse. The woman had always been quick with the smart remarks, so why were they suddenly getting on Washu's last nerve? The answer seemed obvious, but something else was going on as well.

And instead of making notes, why was she staring at Zulian, so innocently relaxed on the couch as if totally unconcerned by everything? She was wearing shorts and a simple low-cut vest that left a lot of skin bare. It wasn't a new outfit, just one of the permutations of the limited pieces she'd brought with her. So why was it catching Washu's attention, today of all days? Sure, one of the problems of waking up alone is that it isn't as convenient to…

Washu frowned, tapping her stylus in a nervous staccato on the side of her digital pad. Really? Surely *that* couldn't be what the back of her mind had been craving all morning. Other mornings had dawned with this restlessness but it was usually gone after a couple hours. After... Hmm. Well that was just great. She was still angry at the woman in front of her, but at the moment all she could think about was the way Zulian had just swung her legs up onto the couch, stretching out, and the way her breasts shifted under the vest as she turned to prop an elbow on the arm of the couch.

There was a tapping noise that was driving her nuts. After a moment Washu realized it was her making that noise and she stopped. She stood up abruptly, dropped the pad and stylus on the chair, and walked over to Zulian. "Got a minute?"

Zulian looked up at Washu, lowering the device she'd been staring at. "Several hundred, actually. Do you want them all at once or in bunches of three interspersed throughout the next week or so?"

"Whatever you have on hand, Captain Smartass, and I'd prefer the minutes to be end-to-end." Even through her anger Washu couldn't help but smile a little at the tease.

Zulian smiled too, her head tilted back to see the woman who was practically looming over her. "Can I assume you've thought of something you're in the mood for, Scientist Snippy?"

"You would be correct in that assumption. Can I assume you were serious when you said you were game?"

"That depends just a little on what you have in mind. Why don't you sit down and tell me about it?" Zulian's legs shifted out of the way, bare feet settling on the rug. "I can tell you what I'm in the mood for too, then we'll decide."

"Fine." Washu was a little thrown by Zulian's casual attitude and teasing tone when she herself was still so out of whack from the night before. Did their little fight mean so little to Zulian that she could pretend it didn't happen? Suddenly unsure of the wisdom of this, the scientist sat down in the middle of the sofa and turned towards Zulian. But as soon as she was settled in, Zulian moved- to sit on Washu's lap, straddling her thighs. "Zulian, what are you doing?" Washu asked, surprised.

Zulian rested her hands on Washu's ribs and looked at her quizzically. "I believe we covered this the first day I was here. I was pretty sure you'd recognize it by *now.*"

Washu scowled, even though she really had come over to the sofa for something like this. Zulian getting the drop on her actually made it simpler, but her overactive brain just had to question it. "Then let me rephrase. Why?"

Zulian smiled. "I'm just telling you what I'm in the mood for. But I'm sorry, you should have gone first. What are you in the mood to do this afternoon? Speak up, I'm listening." She might have been listening but she was also distracted, toying with the bottom button of Washu's shirt.

Which in turn distracted Washu, but not entirely. "What if I'm not up for your plan?"

Sharp blue eyes looked at Washu, Zulian's smile still in place. "Aren't you? Washu, you've been giving me the eye for ten minutes now. If you're really not interested, I'll have to go take a cold shower before I agree to whatever plan you've got. Or excuse myself for a bit and then have a warm shower."

It had been a while since Zulian made Washu blush but she managed it this time. At least the scientist no longer felt shy about what she wanted to do next. Her long fingers smoothed along Zulian's mostly bare thighs. "I didn't realize I was staring."

"Which made it flattering in an odd way." Zulian resumed her work on Washu's shirt since no one told her not to, undoing the buttons enough that her fingertips brushed the lower curve of Washu's breasts. She also bent forward for a kiss, and that stopped conversation cold for some time. Finally their lips parted and their hands slowed their greedy explorations. She drew back a little bit, a rosy flush obvious in her cheeks and her breath coming faster. "I do keep interrupting you, don't I? What was it you wanted to do?"

"Just this," Washu said breathlessly, then kissed Zulian again and leaned forward, maneuvering the woman off her lap and pressing her down to lay on the couch. The restlessness she had been feeling all day translated into wanting and it was stronger than other days like this, or perhaps she was just more aware of it.

Also unlike other days Zulian was being obstinate, making things difficult. It seemed if Washu wanted surrender, she was going to have to work for it. When she tried to open Zulian's vest, the dratted woman started doing up the buttons behind her. "What the hell, Zu?" Washu muttered, starting over again. When Zulian again started refastening, giggling, Washu grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head on the sofa cushion.

For a moment she thought she might have been too rough, but judging by Zulian's smirk that wasn't a problem. Their breath mingled and Zulian lifted her head to kiss Washu. "I thought you wanted to play," Washu growled, pulling away from the kiss- after a bit.

"I am playing, love."

"You're getting in my way is what you're doing." Switching to holding Zulian's wrists with just one hand freed her up to complete the task she was focused on, even when Zulian got one hand loose. It was possible to un-button with one hand but redoing them that way was tougher, so Zulian moved back to undressing Washu, as best she could considering their positions. "Will you stop that?" Washu's frustration peaked enough for her to complain again.

"Is that a request or an interrogatory?"

Washu groaned. "What is with your mouth today?"

"Let me up and I'll show you." Zulian's grin was challenging.

The scientist didn't even pretend to consider it. "No." At Zulian's pout, Washu shook her head, her pink hair flowing down over both of them as she knelt over Zulian's body.

Zulian's smile faded slightly. "You're still mad at me." Washu's eyes slid sideways, and Zulian took that as a yes and her smile vanished altogether.

That look cut at Washu a bit. "Zu, I'm mad at something. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm about to fly apart."

"Can I help?" There was a pleading look in Zulian's blue eyes and she bit her bottom lip.

Washu grabbed Zulian's other hand again and moved it out of her way. "Yes, you can."

Zulian nodded, strands of her black hair slipping across her forehead. "Anything."

"Then shut up." Washu kissed her then, fiercely. To her relief Zulian responded willingly and without interfering. No longer needing to hold the woman's wrist, Washu was able to sit back for a moment, and look down at Zulian. It occurred to her to wonder just why something like this gave her the peace it did. When she bent down to press her lips to her lover's, demanding to be let in and being welcomed, how was that different from the other kisses, the ones where she wasn't taking what would be given?

Why, when she shifted to lying along Zulian's body instead of astride it, was it important that she be the only one allowed to explore? Running hands along the contours of Zulian's body, impatiently pushing aside fabric so she could reach everything. There were scars that marked Zulian's ribcage, two on the left and one on the right, long and wide in places but long-healed. They stood out, pale against tan, but they did not deter Washu in the slightest. When this mood was upon her, nothing would; she insisted on being the one who touched, teased, and tasted, seeing and feeling Zulian tremble under her hands and knowing it was just her that caused the little noises of pleasure.

It was good, the way Zulian's hands clutched at her in reaction when Washu began trailing kisses down her chest. By now Washu knew well every spot on her lover's body, knew exactly how to draw out each reaction, and the woman in her arms was very responsive. Even now, when Washu was so impatient, almost rushed, still unable to stay in one place as if there wouldn't be enough time. But there was time, time enough for this. She tried to slow herself down, focus, for Zulian's benefit.

But to Washu's surprise, Zulian broke the rules, grabbing at her body and pulling her back up to look her in the eyes, almost pleading. Her voice was ragged and her breath was fast. "Please don't make me wait anymore," and Zulian's strong hand ran down Washu's arm, grabbing the scientist's hand, guiding it to where her need was strongest. Washu was happy to oblige, strangely satisfied by the request. How was it possible that Zulian was always so ready for her? For the moment it no longer mattered why this was what she wanted. She simply took it. The shudder that ran through Zulian at Washu's intimate touch triggered one in her as well.

As well as she knew Zulian's body, Washu began as if for the first time, learning all over again until Zulian was breathless and shaking. Perhaps she was still being cruel because it wasn't long before Zulian begged again for release, her body arching up against Washu's. Finally her fingers returned to the place she knew was best, a pace that matched. Zulian moaned and grabbed at Washu's shoulder and side, unable to keep still. That was good though, better than good. Washu kept her eyes on Zulian's face, watching the tension build, crest, then break over her lover. Her love. The woman who always seemed to know what was needed and gave it without reservation.

Washu kissed Zulian gently then; the need to be fierce and demanding had passed. There was a deep flush in Zulian's cheeks and a sheen of sweat on her forehead, evidence of the heated passion they had just shared. "Thank you, love," Washu whispered when their lips parted again and they lay still together.

Zulian's bright blue eyes flew open with surprise and she gazed at Washu for a moment. "Any time," she whispered back, "are you feeling better? A little?" There was a worried edge to her tremulous smile though.

Washu looked away. With her mind and body full of Zulian's presence, it would hurt to think about the rest of the universe again- not just yet. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I see." The furrow in Zulian's brow deepened but she gave Washu a squeeze. "Don't forget to let me know when you *are* ready, okay? Time marches on, you know."

It was Washu's turn to frown slightly. Zulian seemed to bring up time a lot. She tried to shrug it off. "You should sleep, Zu. Trust me, it gets harder to do if you go much past thirty hours."

As if on cue, Zulian yawned. "Could be you're right. A nap wouldn't hurt. And you, Scientist, should eat. I know for a fact you've had nothing but half a cup of coffee. But I'm for a wash before I sleep if that's alright."

"Of course," Washu looked at her, a little confused at the slightly distant tone she was suddenly hearing. She reluctantly disentangled herself from Zulian, who didn't bother gathering up her clothes before striding towards the bedroom and the shower.

Zulian stopped at the door, an arm wrapped around her bare body, not to hide her nudity but almost as if to hide the scars that stretched around her ribcage on that side. The third, narrower, was out of sight from this angle. She spoke to Washu before stepping inside. "I know- last night- I said you should do some research on me. I've changed my mind. If you want to know I'll tell you, but I'd rather you not look it up after all."

Washu nodded, though she definitely felt there was something wrong again. Zulian was gone and the water was running before she could protest, however. Well, they would talk later, and Washu would ask. She did follow Zulian's suggestion, though, and found the last of the bread they'd had such fun making a few days previous. Not having the usual ingredients they'd had to raid her chemical stores and replicate them. It turned out surprisingly good, although time alone would tell if there would be any long-term side effects.

Time, again. After all that, Washu still had time on her hands. Maybe now she could work at least. Back down to the hold then. It had taken her seven strides to get to the end of the hall this morning, coffee in hand; this time she took ten steps. She was more relaxed, not feeling as if she was being chased by anything.

Now that she was more aware of herself, the contrast was a little disturbing. Updating her results took half an hour- she'd tried to do that earlier and hadn't lasted more than ten minutes. The same was true of nearly everything else she put her hand to. It was good to get caught up on her affairs but the implications of the before and after did not escape her. Maybe Zu had a point… Whatever it was about being with Zulian had stopped the metaphorical bleeding for the time being.

There was a polite chime from her screen. Washu walked the three steps to it and turned it to face her. It was a reminder that the search she'd requested had been executed. Having forgotten all about it, Washu opened the results and flipped through rapidly. Apparently she'd had several searches queued and they had all gone through at once. Some astrographic charts, a few journals containing papers she needed to consult, and the last one. She scanned that one until her eye was caught by a picture. Zulian's picture.

The page she stopped on featured a picture of Zulian as she must have been at the start of her career- an identification photo of some sort. Younger, cockier, but with that same pugnacious air about her that said she'd only quit when it was a good idea. Washu smiled, then remembered that she'd agreed not to read this stuff. The auto-advance kicked in however, and the next page displayed. She was reaching to close it but it was too late not to see the new picture and her hand froze.

It was Zulian again, but drastically altered. Angry red wounds, apparently very recent, intruded onto her face and her expression was blank with no sign of the confidence from the earlier picture. Several short slashes marked her cheeks, and one looked like it just missed taking the woman's eye. The largest stretched from her temple down past her chin, along her throat and past her collarbone where the photo ended. As if someone had taken a knife-

Washu's hand slammed on the console's power button, holding it until the screen turned black. There had been more pictures on the following pages but she'd seen more than she wanted to. Now she knew why Zu didn't want her looking up information. But it was too late. Shaken, Washu tried to forget it, tried to move on with other things. Powering the console back on, she deleted the files without looking at them again. She'd have to pretend she hadn't seen.

Easier said than done. It was as well she'd got everything else done already, her concentration was shot again but she could deal with it this time. When she took the ride back up Zulian was asleep…in the spare room for some reason. The door was open at least. Troubled, Washu went in as quietly as she could to check on her. Zulian's deep black hair was still wet from her shower and her breathing was deep and even. There really was no sign of those scars- it was as if they'd never been. She resisted the urge to reach out and trace the line she could still see in her mind's eye. Zulian was a light sleeper, after all.

Washu made her way out and spent the evening alone with her thoughts. She nearly woke Zulian for dinner but decided against it. The scientist still had some things to sort out in her own mind. And Zulian needed her rest, because tomorrow it would be her turn to tell an old story.


	7. First Causes pt 2

First Causes

Pt 2

Washu woke from a nightmare-free sleep- but how could she be sure of that? Zulian was missing again though, and that made her nervous. It was a different sort of nervous than the day before, but still disturbing. As she got up she did think there was a dream fragment- Zulian's voice, something about the luxury of time. It seemed random enough to be a dream, and she didn't think Zu had ever said such a thing even though she did mention time a lot.

The previous evening, Washu had given herself some time to think. There may never be a time when she was 'over' her past and what it had done to her, but perhaps she could learn to live with it instead of apart from it. In fact there was no closing the doors that Zulian had forced her to open. Washu could pretend to be a child again all she wanted for the rest of the world but there would no longer be any pretense in her own mind. But she thought she could cope. Just being aware of what was making her crazy should be enough, right? Now she could attribute properly and deal with things as they came. Probably.

What she *really* didn't want to do was drag Zulian into it, especially after what she'd seen in those files. Clearly the woman had been through enough, and didn't need Washu's foolishness on top of it. The less stubborn part of her mind knew this was bullshit but her pride wasn't allowing her to listen. She'd forcibly dismissed the inexplicable anger that had colored her mind since their talk a couple nights previous. So she went looking for Zulian with a false cheerfulness all over her.

The morning passed strangely. Washu did her best to remain upbeat, to try and recapture some of the easy comfort they'd enjoyed the first few weeks of their voyage together. But she caught Zulian looking at her oddly more than once, and tossing off-hand answers to her rather pointed questions only made Zulian peer harder at her. Again Washu was struck by the notion that the woman was a mind-reader: could Zulian actually know that the scientist had decided not to burden her anymore? Still wearing her smile, Washu went below to take care of some business.

Zulian was standing at the observation pane, flipping through the various views with a swipe of her hand, when Washu came back up. Washu got a nasty shock when she realized that the freighter captain was wearing the same clothes she'd arrived in- fit for travelling. She tried for a light-hearted tone when she greeted Zulian but suddenly her heart was in her throat. "I know I haven't been the most cheerful roommate lately, but please tell me you're not jumping ship today." It came out more as a sincere question than a teasing joke.

To her dismay, Zulian turned to her with a serious look instead of an instant denial. "That depends on a few things, doesn't it?"

"Like what?" Dread built up in Washu so quickly that she skipped a breath.

"How did you sleep last night? How do you feel this morning?" Zulian's blue eyes held Washu's gaze, searching her expression for something.

"Fine, and fine. I thought I heard you say something to me but you weren't there, so…" She took a step towards Zulian. To Washu's dismay the woman stepped back, maintaining distance. "What is going on, Zu? You're scaring me."

"Washu, I haven't been entirely honest with you, and I think it's important you know some things about me before… much longer." She swallowed hard, obviously preparing for something.

Washu's pulse quickened. "It can't be that bad. I'll be fine with whatever it is, I'm sure of it-" Seeing the distress on Zulian's face made her step forward again but Zulian raised a fretful hand and she stopped, confused.

"I'm warning you, Scientist, I want to get through this and I *can't* if you keep doing that." She pointed imperiously at the chair in front of the couch.

Washu sank into it without another protest, swiveling to look apprehensively at the dark haired woman. "Zulian, if this is about the files, I promise I didn't read them. As soon as I saw the picture-"

"What picture?" Zulian's question was sharp and the last hint of humor fell away.

Too late Washu realized she'd slipped up. "I- I ran the search while I was still angry, but after you asked me not to read- I only saw the one picture, then I shut it off."

Zulian's shoulders slumped and her head bowed. "I think I know the ones you mean. I didn't think they were publically available."

"They're not. My searches…dig deep." Washu's tone was miserable. "It looked like a medical trial record. But I didn't read it."

Zulian sighed, straightening up. "Maybe this would be easier if you had. I wish you hadn't seen…that. It's bad enough that I remember what I looked like. Now it's in your head too." Zulian's blue eyes returned to looking at the display as it showed the complicated dance of planets below them.

"You know I don't care, right?"

"Maybe you should," Zulian half whispered. "You know I'm not Jurain, right?"

This came so out of left field that Washu was taken aback. "I suppose you're not, are you? Your hair, your eyes… but yes, I see it now. Where are you from?"

"In my heart I'm from space. I was born in space. But in thirty years- or so- I'll return to where my blood is from. There I will get old and die in the manner of my people. The first will happen very rapidly, and the second- well, also rapidly I suspect." Zulian's lips quirked into a slight smile.

Washu thought this was a hell of a time to start being funny again. "You're Arturan?" The planet Artura's people had a unique physiology- once they reached maturity they remained essentially unchanged until the last five years of their lives, when they aged all at once. If they were not on their homeworld when this process began or soon after, their bodies broke down in even more unpleasant ways. There were not many Arturans who chose a life in space for this reason.

"I am. The only way I get to die in space is if a pirate gets me… the alternative to going home is too horrific to consider."

"Zulian, I don't- thirty years?" Washu was dumfounded. "That's not long at all!"

Zulian's smile persisted. "It's a lifetime to me but a blink of an eye to you, or so I imagine."

"You don't have the luxury of time," Washu murmured, remembering the snippet of dream or memory that had come to her in the night.

Zulian peered at her closely for a moment then nodded. "No I don't, not like some. I'm not only mortal, but I have a fairly precise idea of when my time will end. This makes me hasty and impatient, impulsive and occasionally a little stupid."

"Thirty years?" Washu said again.

"Well, I exaggerate. It will be about thirty standard years before I return to my world and finish my life. I am as mortal as they come and you, my dear, are not."

"Why are you telling me this now?" Washu's hands gripped the arm of the chair as she wrestled with the implications of this new information.

"I should have mentioned it at the beginning, I know that. I know damn well what happens when someone is unprepared for this particular reality. And also… you asked me a question the other night, and I decided to answer it. Because I don't have all the time in the world." Zulian moved to the kitchen and poured wine into two glasses, never mind that it was early, ship's time. "If you're up for it, that is. If you'd rather I just go, or keep my mouth shut, I can do that. But I…I hope you're not too angry to listen."

"I *never* asked you to go," Washu said, leaning forward to accept the glass handed to her. "And I'm not angry anymore."

"Good." The relief in Zulian's voice couldn't be disguised, but she kept going as she settled onto the couch, tucking her feet under her. "Then allow me to spin you a tale of a very young woman who inherited her mother's wanderlust, her ship, and less sense than the goddess gave an apple tree."

Washu leaned back again. "Zu, you don't have to…"

"Hey, did I interrupt you?" Zulian smiled to take the sting out of her words. "Anyway, it's true. The ship was the only experienced one on that first voyage. There was a girl who thought her flight schooling and owning a ship free and clear was enough to qualify her for the title 'captain.' She didn't understand what could happen out in space with people in close quarters. Especially when some of those people were using the voyage to run away." She paused to sip her wine, turning the glass in her hands a couple of times.

"Something happened?"

"Three lost lives, and nearly everyone else." She spoke matter-of-factly, as if it had happened to someone else.

It occurred to Washu that might be why Zulian was telling this tale in the odd third-person way that she was. Old pain was still pain, as she'd relearned the a few evenings previous. "Tell me."

"I'll give you the broad strokes. Her- *my* second in command on that trip was someone I knew from school, one of those long-lived Jurains. Some distant trickle of royal blood kept the poor man living nearly three hundred standard years longer than he wanted, and he said so often. With a laugh and a smile, and I should never have believed that smile. I wouldn't, now, but then…" Zulian shrugged. "He had been a fool, really; loving a girl of my kind, and vowing to follow her wherever life took them. She must have been a fool as well, not to tell him what happened to our people at the end. He kept his promise, though." Zulian's eyes closed briefly.

"Anyway, by the time I met him he was tired of life and desperate for distraction. A hauler seemed perfect so I offered him a place on my ship. He…didn't cope well. And I found out why he had sought me out while we were in school. Apparently our home world wasn't the only similarity between me and his lost love." Sitting still no longer suited Zulian who left her wine behind and walked back to the observation pane. Washu's work had brought them to the twin-planet system and they were plainly visible, a complex dance of orbiting each other and their primary even as they each spun on their axis- it was a dizzying view even from afar.

"I'm afraid the details are unpleasant, so I'll skip ahead a bit. When my polite refusals of his attentions were no longer effective and we were deep between systems, he snapped. He drugged me and barricaded us both in the galley for days. Two of my crew members were killed trying to end the standoff, and when a moment of sanity showed him what his knife had done to me, he turned it on himself." Zulian looked at Washu with a brittle smile and blue eyes that were too shiny. "I was- am- too vain not to have the most visible of the scars eradicated, but I had learned some hard lessons, so I kept the rest."

Washu could see those scars in her mind's eye. She swallowed hard. "I didn't know."

Zulian shrugged. "Why should you have known? This was years ago. I was a wreck right after. Getting an education in people was a way to cope, and since I still intended to fly I contrived to do better. I like to think I've succeeded."

"An outsider's opinion would be a yes," the scientist offered automatically.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't remember it, in small ways mostly, but it's always with me. I've seen what not dealing looks like. I wanted to help someone in a way I couldn't help my other friend. But in trying to make up for one mistake, I nearly made another."

Washu flinched. "Do you mean this- me?"

There was that distant tone again in Zulian's reply. "I do. Because I was selfish, and didn't think things through. So I suppose it's just as well we talked when we did, and I can tell you've already decided to handle it on your own. That's fine; now I know things haven't gone too far."

"You're making an awful lot of assumptions, Zulian." Washu stood, suddenly angry even though Zulian had in fact nailed it again. "Let me see if I'm following you- you're trying to convince me that you picked me up as penance for your past, and now you've decided to stop before I really love you? Because if I love you, I might fall apart when you die?"

Zulian glanced at her then looked away again. One hand came up to push through her black hair and there was a slight tremor in the motion. "Well, you do have a way of cutting right to the heart of things."

"I *am* a genius after all." Washu's words dripped with sarcasm. She set her wine glass down and stepped closer to Zulian. They were standing arm's length apart and Washu's hands were on her hips. "And if I believed your current line of bullshit I'd be devastated. It's a good thing you're a terrible liar."

Zulian turned her back on Washu. "Which part is bullshit? I realized last night that you've got enough grief to carry around, and the methods I was using to help were putting you at risk for more. Better to stop before it's too late."

"So what's your next move then, just leaving? Make me think that this was an experiment after all so I'll *only* feel abandoned and betrayed? Do you really think that will help?" Washu closed the distance and turned Zulian around by her shoulders. She looked into those blue eyes she had grown so familiar with. "Please don't give up on me because I got mad and said stupid things, or because someone else wasn't strong enough."

"I didn't mean…" Zulian faltered under Washu's intense gaze and the soft hand that caressed her cheek.

"Then stay with me, keep helping me… because it's too late already." Washu pulled her into her arms, trying to communicate her feelings in ways that words just weren't managing. "It's been too late the whole time."

Zulian tried to hold back when Washu kissed her. "I just- I don't want you to regret…"

"Well you don't get to make that decision, do you? You're the one who said it- whether or not I love you is none of your business." Washu rested her forehead against Zulian's. "But if you love me, please don't go."

"I can't stay forever, you know that." Zulian closed her eyes tight but her hands found their way to Washu's waist.

"Three more weeks," Washu said with a sad little smile, "and whatever time you can spare me as you fly through the galaxy?"

"Every moment I can spare for the rest of my life," Zulian's voice broke. When Washu put her arms around her Zulian melted into the embrace. They stayed that way for a long moment, separating only enough to make eye contact. Washu tried to kiss her again but Zulian stopped her with a finger to her lips. "It's not going to be easy. For either of us."

Washu's hand came up and brushed through Zulian's deep black hair. "Do you think it will be worth it?"

Zulian looked thoughtful for a moment, and then the corners of her lips turned up. "That depends."

"You always say that," Washu couldn't help but laugh.

"It's always true, isn't it?" Zulian gave a toss of her head. "Anyway," she locked eyes with Washu and the heat in that gaze startled the scientist, "the question is- are you really putting yourself in my hands? You've done it before," her eyes flicked to the couch and her smile became mischievous at the memory of her first day on board. "I don't think it turned out too badly, all things considered." With deliberate slowness Zulian's hand slid down the front of Washu's body as she spoke.

Washu shivered, warmth pouring through her at the touch. "No, not bad at all." She too was thinking of that first day; this moment had some very similar feelings, emotionally speaking. Agreeing to allow her love access to the dustiest corridors of her psyche was going to be frightening and entirely new territory. Somehow she was right back to uncertainty and apprehension but when Zulian pulled her in for a kiss- a no-nonsense, guess-what-I'm-after kiss- everything else fell away. She could worry about that later; just now Zulian's hands were on her body, taking a tour of the places that made her short of breath.

"So what I'm asking, love," Zulian murmured the next time speech was possible, "is just this: can I have you?"

The question meant something different this time- but not really. And the answer would be the same, if Washu could get her voice to start working again. Her whole body was flushed with desire, and her mind was trying to pick one of the thousand ways to say 'yes' that were crowding in on her. "All of me," she finally whispered.

"Excellent." Zulian whispered back. She began to press Washu backwards, deftly steering her past the sofa and towards the bedroom door. The scientist fought the urge to try turning around to walk forward. It occurred to her briefly that she'd never once *asked* for Zulian's surrender those times. She had demanded it and it was given, every time. The least she could do was trust Zulian not to run her into a wall.

It became immediately clear that Zulian was in charge this time around when she spent several deliciously dizzying minutes undressing Washu, taking time to explore as each article of clothing fell away. Washu stood obediently through it all though it was difficult and she was once again beginning to fear combustion when Zulian got serious. There wasn't much longer to wait; as slowly as she'd undressed Washu, it took far less time for Zulian to shed her own clothes, and the look in her eyes made Washu's pulse race even faster.

The next moment saw them in each other's arms and there was no more holding back for Washu. Her hands needed to feel, her mouth needed to taste. Zulian gave as good as she got for a few long moments before she took charge again, apparently still having a plan to carry out. She pushed Washu backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed and she sat automatically.

Zulian laughed lightly at the flash of disappointment that crossed her lover's face at the distance now between them. "Come now, love; does an impatient scientist get good results?" She teased.

"They get the results they want, at least," Washu said, not having to pretend to be a little frustrated. But she sat a moment and gazed up at Zulian, struck anew by how beautiful she was. Remembering that first sight of her, just out of the shower, and how overwhelming the feeling had been. She could feel it again, the way she wanted this woman so much that she could barely breathe.

A knowing smile lit Zulian's face and she stood a moment, running a hand through her deep black hair, giving Washu a chance to admire her. She laughed again when the delay got a growl from Washu. "I think you'll be just as pleased with the results," she promised, then finally pressing close again, whispered one more thing as she shifted Washu backwards on the bed and moved over her. "If you remember the first lesson, that is."

Washu was caught by surprise when Zulian's deep demanding kiss was accompanied by the woman's fingers pressing deeply into her with no further ado. She moaned, and her hands grasped at Zulian's bare back and side. There was no question about her readiness but Zulian's teasing had her expecting more fooling around. When she found the breath to speak and Zulian's lips had moved down to her throat, adding to the sweet flood of sensation, she managed to say, "That's not the lesson I remember."

Zulian barely interrupted what she was doing, her words sending warm breath across Washu's skin as she moved lower still. "That's because the real lesson was, sometimes it's best to cut to the chase." Her lips found the point of Washu's breast and Washu's body arched as she cried out again.

The tension in her was building so quickly that she couldn't stem the tide, couldn't stand it for much longer while never wanting it to end. Zulian moved back up her body, slowing her motions and drawing the moment out in a way that Washu found deliciously cruel. She whimpered as she felt that she was right on the edge, and Zulian was deliberately holding back.

"Tell me again, Washu," Zulian whispered against her lips. "Tell me again."

"All of me, love, you already have all of me." Washu lifted her head enough to capture Zulian's lips with her own. "All yours."

"Good." Within moments Zulian had her back at the edge she'd been teetering on before but somehow there was still a higher place to fall from and that's where Zulian brought her to before sending her tumbling. There were no words in the cries of pleasure until the very end, when the last bit of energy she had allowed her to whisper Zulian's name.

"Mine," Zulian murmured, settling down finally right beside Washu, one hand tracing lazy lines on her exhausted body. Due to their positions it wasn't really possible for Washu to see the pleased smile on Zulian's face but she knew it was there.

The moment she was able to, Washu turned to regard her lover with a very intense gaze. "And you're mine."

Zulian's smile stayed in place but gained a teasing edge again. "Oh yeah? Show me."

"Oh I will," Washu nearly growled the words. She managed to show Zulian just who belonged to whom, taking her time in a sort of revenge until Zulian was gasping and shaking and red lines marked Washu's back from her raking fingernails.

With no more secrets between them, the remaining weeks of their time alone together passed in a mostly comfortable blur of bliss. The knowledge that it would be ending added an intensity and urgency not only to their lovemaking but all the time they spent together. True to her word, Washu allowed Zulian to draw her out about the things that were digging holes in her mind. That wasn't always easy, and she occasionally regretted making that promise, but never for long.

The nightmare came again but it was no longer a nebulous blank space. Thanks to quiet but very intense conversations with Zulian's guiding hand, the emotions and images behind that veil came clearer. The conviction that she hadn't done enough to keep her son was mixing with the pure helplessness of her situation. Her subconscious had her on the run with her infant son through warzones, disasters, and scenarios where they were simply in hiding from an all-powerful sinister force. They all ended essentially the same way. She was always found, the boy was always plucked from her arms or lost and she was bereft all over again.

"You really couldn't have done anything about it and kept the both of you safe *and* happy." Zulian said; her arms around Washu in the dark one night. "You would have had to give up everything, devoted your entire being to keeping him from their notice. He would have been unhappy, unsafe, and probably very angry when he got old enough to understand."

Washu's sigh had a shudder behind it, left over from the storm of weeping just past. "I know that. I do. I just… I wish I hadn't just given him up like… it was nothing."

"You didn't," Zulian tipped Washu's chin up so she looked into her eyes. "You never gave him up, but you let him go. Because it was best for him."

"I would have done anything, anything at all, but I didn't do anything!" Washu's voice was choked with guilty tears.

"My love, you did everything you could… you saw what it would have been like for him, for both of you. You must have. You saw it, and understood, and you made the right choice. Do you know how I know that's what happened, even if you don't?"

Washu looked up at Zulian, swallowing hard. "How do you know?"

Zulian kissed her on the forehead. "Because you're a genius, that's how I know. No one as smart as you could possibly miss the implications, fail to see how things would inevitably go, and still decide to go through with it. There is no winner on that path, except possibly those soulless bastards who forced the issue in the first place. I know it was the right choice because it's the choice you made, and you're the smartest person in the galaxy."

Washu blinked several times at that. Then she actually laughed. In fact, once she got started she couldn't stop, giggling until her sides ached even as tears streamed down her cheeks. Zulian laughed with her and at her. Eventually they slept and in the morning Washu once more felt as if she'd been hollowed out, but it was different this time. Something inside had broken again but perhaps this time it would heal cleanly, with a little loving help.

The time to say their second goodbye came far too soon for both of them. The freighter was approaching the twin-planet system near enough for Zulian's little ship to make the trip easily and without throwing them off their schedule.

"I want to hear from you a lot, Scientist. I'm not through with you yet!" Zulian had finished moving her things back into the runabout she'd arrived in and they were already pushing the shove-off window to its limit. She grabbed Washu again in a tight embrace once more, and Washu held her just as close.

"Every chance I get; and same goes for you, Captain! I don't want to miss news of any of your battles with pirates!" There were tears in her eyes again but there was no helping that, and now they weren't anything she had to hide or question. The woman she loved was going off into space on adventures of her own, but she'd be back around every chance she got.

"If my crew has decided that they're better off with Kel, I'm coming back and stealing your ship for a while, okay?" Zulian's smile had a tremulous quality- this wasn't an easy parting for her either.

"They'd all be crazy to decide that, and that would mean they need you even more," Washu teased. "Now you'd better go or I'll become the pirate myself and just take you away."

"My, wouldn't that be awful!" Zulian kissed her heatedly one last time before dropping into the seat and triggering the hatch to swing closed. Washu was trembling as she stepped back from the little ship as it powered up and was guided out the main bay door through the atmosphere shield. She stood there for a long time after Zulian was truly gone.

Washu returned to the Academy a few months later, cutting her sabbatical short. She was lonely out in space to be sure, but she was starting to worry about her department and some of her students being in less than the best hands. Her mind often drifted away from the work she'd come out to do to refocus with new clarity on some of the projects waiting for her back home. This trip had already been so full of surprises that she didn't feel at all guilty about returning early.

Washu slipped onto the campus with even less fanfare than she'd left, arriving in the evening during Finals Week to give herself some time to settle back in before the new semester started, and give her replacement time to find something else to do. After checking in with the higher-ups she went to her home which was dusty and in desperate need of a stiff breeze. After she opened all the windows and set up some fans she whimsically decided to take a walk while the place freshened up naturally. She strolled the grounds which were quiet for a campus but practically ringing with the sound of a thousand minds furiously cramming in information at the last minute. The smell of coffee and other stimulants wafted around as well.

Washu grinned as she walked, sort of surprised at how good it felt to be back. Out of habit, her feet had taken her on the familiar path to the lecture hall that was her home classroom. There was a light on inside so she peeked in to see who was still working this time of night.

Noral was hunched over a table, poring over a stack of papers with his head propped up by one hand. He was so engrossed in- or more likely stressed out by- what he was doing that he didn't notice Washu leaning against the door frame watching him until she finally spoke.

"Let me guess." His head jerked up and he squinted at the figure in the door. Washu saw the way his eyes caught the light just right and they were like glowing green discs in the glare of the lamp- a peculiarity of his people. "The classes have all been taught, so the professor's job is done. Finals are nothing but paperwork, and that can be left to the TAs? Is that about how it went?"

"Professor Washu!" Noral leapt to his feet and strode towards her. The undisguised joy in his voice put a nice warm glow right in her ego, as did the welcoming hug. He practically jumped backwards when he realized he was getting more familiar with her than was proper, but he was so relieved to have her back. "Ah, um, sorry Prof, it's just- wow, you're back so early!" He grinned; then his face fell comically into something like panic. "Tell me you really are back early and not just here to pick up your stuff to leave for good!"

Washu laughed low and patted him on the cheek to assure him there was no harm in the embrace. "Has it been that bad?"

He scrubbed at the back of his neck. "Bad? In a way. Things just make so much more sense the way you do them. These days I have to wonder if the goofy decisions Lark makes are for a particular reason or just because he's really not paying attention to the big picture." It was more candid than he meant to be, but Washu nodded understanding.

"I know what you mean." She walked over to the desk and flipped through some of the papers. "Why don't I help you with some of these? I can tell you some stories about my trip at the same time, that way you can be bored and abused by two professors at the same time!"

Noral's relief tripled and he quickly pulled up a chair so that Washu could work from the other side of the desk. "You know me, I can always use help with this stuff, and frankly Professor Washu? You can abuse me any time you want!" He looked horrified for a moment when Washu burst out laughing. "That's *not* what I meant!"

"Maybe you didn't, but I can never let you forget you said it, you know that, right?" Washu grinned evilly at him, swinging the chair around so she could sit on it backwards. She tugged half the stack of papers towards her and started flipping through them, deftly snagging Noral's favorite pen from his shirt pocket. It really was good to be back, and already she could feel a spark in her growing. Energy she used to have in excess had drained away over the past few centuries, dwindling to the point that she didn't even realize it was missing until she got it back. Suddenly she couldn't wait to get back in front of the classroom, show these kids what Professor Washu was *really* like.

Noral was watching her grade papers with a sure hand, bemused by the difference he saw in her. It had been a long time since he'd seen her actually happy. Previously she was frequently manic, or just plain strange, but this was different. "So do I get to hear at least a *little* about whoever it is who put that smile on your face?" He asked, deciding to be bold about it while she was in a good mood.

Washu looked at him with the full knowledge that she was grinning like a lovestruck fool. "While technically it's not something we should be discussing, I'm not technically back to work until next week, so technically I'm allowed to tell you all about her." She paused and winked at his stunned expression. "Well, not *all* about her. It's not polite to brag too much about one's affairs."

* * *

><p>**Author's note:<p>

This has been a deeply fun project, even considering all the hell I went through working on this chapter. I have an epilogue planned and half-written so there's one more chapter coming. Thanks to all of you silent readers, extra thanks to those who reviewed. Any feedback at all is welcome but it's nice just to see that someone stopped by into my version of the world for a little bit. So again, thanks a bunch folks, see you for the epilogue.

Finally, the standard disclaimer in my own words: Tenchi Muyo! characters and concepts appear here courtesy of Fair Use and the fine legal minds at Pioneer and associated entities who have better things to do than harass fanfic writers.


End file.
